"deadly laser" That's a joke based on a YouTube history on the abbreviated history of Earth, isn't it?
Those are a lot of microbes. I wonder if this timeline will represent a few individual species, instead of lumping many microbe lineages into basic genus groups.
I'm particularly interested in what will happen for the Nomad, Diggerundi and Krillpede.
Those are a lot of microbes. I wonder if this timeline will represent a few individual species, instead of lumping many microbe lineages into basic genus groups.
I'm particularly interested in what will happen for the Nomad, Diggerundi and Krillpede.
"probfaces" Probefaces.
" became significantly more efficiently" There's am missing word and a missing period here.
"all awhile" All while.
"and leave" and leaves.
"surrounding by" surrounded by.
"and taking over of" You probably meant, "taking over the care of".
They certainly look very alien. It's like a blend of Fil Barlow's Ghostbusters TV series designs and Wayne Barlowe's alien designs. (What a coincidence they have such overlapping tastes in designs and subject matter.)
" became significantly more efficiently" There's am missing word and a missing period here.
"all awhile" All while.
"and leave" and leaves.
"surrounding by" surrounded by.
"and taking over of" You probably meant, "taking over the care of".
They certainly look very alien. It's like a blend of Fil Barlow's Ghostbusters TV series designs and Wayne Barlowe's alien designs. (What a coincidence they have such overlapping tastes in designs and subject matter.)
"Temperate Rainforest," Were you going to add another habitat?
Can you elaborate on how its towering branches compete with other trees?
"tropics.Their" There's a spacing error.
That's the distinctive Hydromancerx soil texture brush, I see. Which brush do you use to make it?
Can you elaborate on how its towering branches compete with other trees?
"tropics.Their" There's a spacing error.
That's the distinctive Hydromancerx soil texture brush, I see. Which brush do you use to make it?
What keeps the perpetual bone cancer from metastasizing and spreading? Do they simply live such short lives anyway that the cancer's rate of growth and spreading isn't enough to interfere with their survival to reproduction and reproductive ability? Are these pieces of bone cancer actually benign tumors, at least until they've had plenty of time to reproduce? Is there something special about the chemical setup or epigenetics of the neural spines that makes the cancer only grow upwards?
It's interesting to see how the perpetually warm environment of obsiditree forests can be exploited for de-regulated endothermy.
It's interesting to see how the perpetually warm environment of obsiditree forests can be exploited for de-regulated endothermy.
What was your point of contention? I meant "more yellow" as in those with greater yellow coloration relative to purple coloration, not a more intense shade of yellow. Pseudomelanism is between regular pigmentation and melanism.
The shadow spinebutt plexo subspecies says, "This is due to the subspecies having the majority of their populations being anthocyaninistic". This seems comparable to "black panther" (melanistic) populations of leopards. According to Wikipedia: "Melanistic leopards are common on Java, and are also reported from densely forested areas in southwestern China, Myanmar, Assam in India, and Nepal, from Travancore and some parts of southern India where they may be more numerous than spotted leopards. " Therefore, it seems fine.
However, the golden spinebutt plexo is found only in one habitat, with just one phenotype. Even the leopards of densely forested areas aren't exclusively melanistic. Are there any comparable real-life animals where those found in a specific habitat are exclusively melanistic?
The shadow spinebutt plexo subspecies says, "This is due to the subspecies having the majority of their populations being anthocyaninistic". This seems comparable to "black panther" (melanistic) populations of leopards. According to Wikipedia: "Melanistic leopards are common on Java, and are also reported from densely forested areas in southwestern China, Myanmar, Assam in India, and Nepal, from Travancore and some parts of southern India where they may be more numerous than spotted leopards. " Therefore, it seems fine.
However, the golden spinebutt plexo is found only in one habitat, with just one phenotype. Even the leopards of densely forested areas aren't exclusively melanistic. Are there any comparable real-life animals where those found in a specific habitat are exclusively melanistic?
"grapping" should be "grabbing" or "gripping". "their not" should be "they're not".
Other than that, this looks ready for approval.
Other than that, this looks ready for approval.
I like the art, and its patterning. I recommend cleaning up the leftover lines and creases in the background in GIMP.
The rules say, "for the purpose of this game there shall be no non-aesthetic physical differences in sub-species. However, they may be described in terms of trends across their range (ie. being redder in the parts of its range that have redder soil, or having longer fur where it's colder). Individual subspecies may not be given specific restricted ranges."
The Golden Spinebutt Plexo having a specific restricted range for Darwin Chaparral may make it violate this rule. Admittedly, the rule has gotten murkier now that various species exist in different color morphs across the Dixon-Darwin-Vivus supercontinent. Until that rule is officially revised, I recommend working with the word "restricted" and saying the species tends towards more yellow coloration in certain broad geographic ranges, with the sample image being from the Darwin Chaparral population, which might be the yellowest of the yellow populations.
Chaparrals are very different from rainforests, which does raise an eyebrow, but it does fall within the "two types, three flavors" rule.
"gundis" Dundis, actually. "Gundis" is for Gamergate Gundis, and it only eats one organism with "gundi" in the name. It doesn't make sense to use "Gundis" because a more logical name for the descendants of the Yellowdundi would be "Dundi". It's premature to assume all Dundis are Gundis just because Gamergate Gundis are widespread.
The rules say, "for the purpose of this game there shall be no non-aesthetic physical differences in sub-species. However, they may be described in terms of trends across their range (ie. being redder in the parts of its range that have redder soil, or having longer fur where it's colder). Individual subspecies may not be given specific restricted ranges."
The Golden Spinebutt Plexo having a specific restricted range for Darwin Chaparral may make it violate this rule. Admittedly, the rule has gotten murkier now that various species exist in different color morphs across the Dixon-Darwin-Vivus supercontinent. Until that rule is officially revised, I recommend working with the word "restricted" and saying the species tends towards more yellow coloration in certain broad geographic ranges, with the sample image being from the Darwin Chaparral population, which might be the yellowest of the yellow populations.
Chaparrals are very different from rainforests, which does raise an eyebrow, but it does fall within the "two types, three flavors" rule.
"gundis" Dundis, actually. "Gundis" is for Gamergate Gundis, and it only eats one organism with "gundi" in the name. It doesn't make sense to use "Gundis" because a more logical name for the descendants of the Yellowdundi would be "Dundi". It's premature to assume all Dundis are Gundis just because Gamergate Gundis are widespread.
"will form a front" How about: "several Hornbosses shall lunge out of formation to attack the predators".
The Driftwood Islands might become he biggest, most ecologically important landmark of all time.
"Dormant Photosynthesis;" Why mention this in the template if it's not used regularly?
"Dormant Photosynthesis;" Why mention this in the template if it's not used regularly?
" tissues." Tissues? Not skin? Does the pigment go into the muscle or deeper, like for Silkie chickens? (A few other animals have weird muscle colors, but the Silkie chicken is probably best studied.)
To DIsgustedorite: I like the depth of the art brought by the shading and spotting.
It still photosynthesizes? I know there are certainly purple and even dark purple leaves that can still photosynthesize, but I don't recall any plants which are healthy and also use brown pigment on their leaves. There's also the matter of how living in a dense forest, especially one where the trees are black, would seriously restrict photosynthesis in a body shape that's already not good for photosynthesis.
To DIsgustedorite: I like the depth of the art brought by the shading and spotting.
It still photosynthesizes? I know there are certainly purple and even dark purple leaves that can still photosynthesize, but I don't recall any plants which are healthy and also use brown pigment on their leaves. There's also the matter of how living in a dense forest, especially one where the trees are black, would seriously restrict photosynthesis in a body shape that's already not good for photosynthesis.
Could you add that detail to the mating system in the description? Otherwise, one might assume the alpha male can actually successfully secure mating rights all the time for a herd of up to 80 individuals. Even elephant seals (the males are about 3.6 m, like the lower estimate here) only have a harem of 40-50 females. (or 30-100: information is conflicting.)
I just noticed it had a size range in the template, which is rare. Since sexually dimorphic species are split up in template information (see Dappershell), I recommend giving separate average size stats for males and females.
I just noticed it had a size range in the template, which is rare. Since sexually dimorphic species are split up in template information (see Dappershell), I recommend giving separate average size stats for males and females.
"form a front" That doesn't seem quite the right use of military technology.
Given how big the herds can get, especially in the bigger estimates, life would surely be difficult for the alpha male. Are the alpha males short-lived in their "reigns"? Do stealthier males manage to sneak past his notice and mate with the females? Do the females deliberately sneak away from the herd to meet with other males?
Given how big the herds can get, especially in the bigger estimates, life would surely be difficult for the alpha male. Are the alpha males short-lived in their "reigns"? Do stealthier males manage to sneak past his notice and mate with the females? Do the females deliberately sneak away from the herd to meet with other males?
It's taking quite a long time to get the Week 4 ecosystem page up for the Beta timeline, since the organism listings need to be entered and sorted manually and there are only a few people entering the data. I've given up on sorting them by size in the more populated habitats.
Some kind of wiki macro that automatically adds brackets to each organism name and spaces them out appropriately would save a lot of labor. Other wikis, perhaps Bulbapedia, might already have tools like this. It might be possible to use some kind of automatic data-scraping tool to enter a list of organisms and have the wiki sort them by size, but I have a feeling that's more difficult to do. I don't think sorting by lifestyle categories (Flora, Fauna, Other, Micro Producer and Micro Consumer) should be entirely automated, because of how easily organisms can switch categories, but a category "guesser" with manual double-checking could still help.
I also figured out how to make drop-down spoiler boxes for organism listings a few days ago. Given just how much space well-populated habitats can take up on the ecosystem, it could be useful to use them on the well-populated habitats. I suggest using it on either habitats with more than 40 species, or habitats with more than 40 species in a single category (typically, Fauna).
Although I had the Beta timeline in mind when suggesting these things, it would also apply to the Alpha timeline. If anything, the Alpha timeline would need the spoiler boxes more, due to existing for longer, with more species, and having a supercontinent.
Some kind of wiki macro that automatically adds brackets to each organism name and spaces them out appropriately would save a lot of labor. Other wikis, perhaps Bulbapedia, might already have tools like this. It might be possible to use some kind of automatic data-scraping tool to enter a list of organisms and have the wiki sort them by size, but I have a feeling that's more difficult to do. I don't think sorting by lifestyle categories (Flora, Fauna, Other, Micro Producer and Micro Consumer) should be entirely automated, because of how easily organisms can switch categories, but a category "guesser" with manual double-checking could still help.
I also figured out how to make drop-down spoiler boxes for organism listings a few days ago. Given just how much space well-populated habitats can take up on the ecosystem, it could be useful to use them on the well-populated habitats. I suggest using it on either habitats with more than 40 species, or habitats with more than 40 species in a single category (typically, Fauna).
Although I had the Beta timeline in mind when suggesting these things, it would also apply to the Alpha timeline. If anything, the Alpha timeline would need the spoiler boxes more, due to existing for longer, with more species, and having a supercontinent.
| QUOTE (OviraptorFan @ Apr 3 2021, 11:29 PM) | ||||
I imagine they can still snap the spins by pinning them down with their foot and grabbing the spine with its mouth. Probably not cleanly and as such individuals may choke on Hockels with partially broke spines from time to time. |
Could you note that in the description?
I was going to criticize this one making jerky, but since it does have solidified sea salt, it should be plausible. Since making jerky is seemingly a sophont behavior, you should mention its motivations for doing so. If a population of snow macaques took up dipping their sweet potatoes in salt water as a cultural trend, apparently because they liked the salty taste, Sparkleshrogs rubbing their food in salt for taste with no real foresight for preservation would work.
I can simply imagine a knockoff Lion King-esque furry adaptation of this, or perhaps a body pillow. That's probably the second Sagan 4 organism I think is bizarrely suitable for a body pillow...that, and the Hedgimal.
I can simply imagine a knockoff Lion King-esque furry adaptation of this, or perhaps a body pillow. That's probably the second Sagan 4 organism I think is bizarrely suitable for a body pillow...that, and the Hedgimal.
I'm actually not sure...stabbing and whacking are two different things. It might help to use pangolins, turtles, rhinos, or hippos as proxies, but it's hard to find data about killing them with pure wood spears, not metal or stone-tipped ones. You could simply say they can only be efficiently killed (short of flipping them over) if the Shrogs use wood of greater than usual strength, and their fangs and axes are practically useless.
Apparently, pangolins can be killed by beating them with sticks, metal rods, or metal rods called sticks.
I just spent quite a while calculating whether this was possible, using a human with metal rods attacking a pangolin as a proxy, but it's so far from how either organism works it's like assuming a spherical cow in an vacuum. I could provide the information in case anyone wants to know how a club-wielding Shrog could beat up pangolins using wood that can be loosely categorized as "ironwood". In fact...a Shrog wielding a rod of wood equivalent to Australian buloke wood would be able to kill virtually everything, if they weren't overpowered enough with simple wooden spears.
I just spent quite a while calculating whether this was possible, using a human with metal rods attacking a pangolin as a proxy, but it's so far from how either organism works it's like assuming a spherical cow in an vacuum. I could provide the information in case anyone wants to know how a club-wielding Shrog could beat up pangolins using wood that can be loosely categorized as "ironwood". In fact...a Shrog wielding a rod of wood equivalent to Australian buloke wood would be able to kill virtually everything, if they weren't overpowered enough with simple wooden spears.
I believe the image credit should be mentioned earlier in the description.
On a related note, I was just about to compliment you on your prettiest artwork yet, so I'm glad I read the note at the bottom.
"lobbed" that means "hurled" or "threw". You mean "lobed".
"their thick armor meaning they can take the spears and teeth of the inhabitants" It must be very thick indeed, or they're simply hard to attack due to their body shape, because I had assumed Sayronts' scales weren't a perfect defense against Shrogs on Fermi.
I believe I take longer to comment on organisms with longer descriptions, and when more than three organisms are submitted per day.
"prey--bugs"
That should be an emdash, although it's only a minor quibble.
"speaking of", is a rather colloquial and incorrect phrasing. I recommend either using "speaking of which" or, better yet, omitting it entirely.
"off of" is redundant. It seems to be a collouqial error, in the manner of "try and do" rather than "try to do". "Off" is sufficient.
"their walking position" Are you talking about the finger, the organism, or the organism population as a whole?
Consider:
"A lion uses its claws to attack prey."
"Lions use their claws to attack prey."
"The lion uses its claws to attack prey."
"A lion's claws are sharp. If not filed down, their points curl like hooks." (Understood to mean "the nails' points", not "the lion's points", though both are actually correct.)
Does it not chop down obsidoaks because it recognizes it's far more than it needs, or because too many Twigfisher Shrogs got their tails stuck in a tree or died? Or do Twigfisher Shrogs get their tails stuck in trees sporadically, and either tell others about it, or are observed by others?
The third explanation is the most plausible. Elephants can learn that herder humans are harmless, while hunters are dangerous, and crows apparently can tell other crows about humans who mistreated them.
I wouldn't call the blond one "blond". I'd use "beige". Admittdly, its paler parts are sort of blond, but the champagne one is named after its main color, not its paler color.
"prey--bugs"
That should be an emdash, although it's only a minor quibble.
"speaking of", is a rather colloquial and incorrect phrasing. I recommend either using "speaking of which" or, better yet, omitting it entirely.
"off of" is redundant. It seems to be a collouqial error, in the manner of "try and do" rather than "try to do". "Off" is sufficient.
"their walking position" Are you talking about the finger, the organism, or the organism population as a whole?
Consider:
"A lion uses its claws to attack prey."
"Lions use their claws to attack prey."
"The lion uses its claws to attack prey."
"A lion's claws are sharp. If not filed down, their points curl like hooks." (Understood to mean "the nails' points", not "the lion's points", though both are actually correct.)
Does it not chop down obsidoaks because it recognizes it's far more than it needs, or because too many Twigfisher Shrogs got their tails stuck in a tree or died? Or do Twigfisher Shrogs get their tails stuck in trees sporadically, and either tell others about it, or are observed by others?
The third explanation is the most plausible. Elephants can learn that herder humans are harmless, while hunters are dangerous, and crows apparently can tell other crows about humans who mistreated them.
I wouldn't call the blond one "blond". I'd use "beige". Admittdly, its paler parts are sort of blond, but the champagne one is named after its main color, not its paler color.
| QUOTE |
| Hmm, I’d feel like they could probably pin down a Hockel like with other species of fauna and then tear out the spines. |
Certainly, it could pin down and kill a Hockel, but the spines are still "attached to a sturdy, thickened apparatus of vertebrae." I think I was thinking the hero shrew's super-sturdy spine when I wrote that. It probably couldn't rip out the spines like plucking chicken of feathers or yanking off chicken legs. It might be able to break off the tips of the spines by outright smashing it with its feet or bending or twisting it apart with its head and legs, though, but I'm not sure whether it's smart enough to do that or would regularly choke on dead Hockels.
| QUOTE (Cube67 @ Apr 3 2021, 01:31 PM) |
| Coolsteph This reads more as an urvogel than a chicken to me. |
Archaeopteryx has an alternate name? That's interesting. I think I was going to compare it to a Microraptor, which indeed had dark plumage, but I decided not to do so, since it didn't have four wings, or "wings". It also vaguely resembles a prairie chicken in using shades of orangish-yellow, beak shape, wings, and ears.
" Male retain" Males retain.
"Large animals" There is no Animalia kingdom here, so you should use "fauna".
"Driftwood Dasher parent’s" Parents.
The description says it's pink, but it's colored purple. Does it change color over the seasons, like an Arctic hare or ptarmigan?
I notice it eats prey whole. The Hockel's primary defense against predators is: "These spines make it unwieldy to eat, causing them to be lodged in a predator's throat. When faced with predators, it slips into the nearest body of water and stays immobile." The Driftwood Dasher is big enough with a long enough beak it could probably pick them out of shallow water if they hid there, especially if the Driftwood Islands don't have a lot of Twinkiiros (since they're floating islands, they might not grow there). However, what about the spines? It might be hard to remove them by bashing the Hockel into the dirt, since "its long, hockey-stick-shaped spines are attached to a sturdy, thickened apparatus of vertebrae." Is it smart enough to specifically break off the spines or use a thick-trunked tree?
"Large animals" There is no Animalia kingdom here, so you should use "fauna".
"Driftwood Dasher parent’s" Parents.
The description says it's pink, but it's colored purple. Does it change color over the seasons, like an Arctic hare or ptarmigan?
I notice it eats prey whole. The Hockel's primary defense against predators is: "These spines make it unwieldy to eat, causing them to be lodged in a predator's throat. When faced with predators, it slips into the nearest body of water and stays immobile." The Driftwood Dasher is big enough with a long enough beak it could probably pick them out of shallow water if they hid there, especially if the Driftwood Islands don't have a lot of Twinkiiros (since they're floating islands, they might not grow there). However, what about the spines? It might be hard to remove them by bashing the Hockel into the dirt, since "its long, hockey-stick-shaped spines are attached to a sturdy, thickened apparatus of vertebrae." Is it smart enough to specifically break off the spines or use a thick-trunked tree?
I'm still not sure whether it would be capable of deliberately making jerky, much less by splashing it in seawater and leaving it to dry. Brine is not simply seawater, unless we presume Sagan 4's oceans are very salty compared to Earth's. Seawater has a salinity of 3.6%, which is on the extreme low end of things called "brine". If anything, splashing the food with seawater would just make it more moist, delaying its proper drying.
There is the option of using super-concentrated salty urine, as seals and sea lions have urine up to 2 and a half times saltier than seawater (theoretically 9% salt), but that's probably too gross. According to Wikipedia, at least 20% salt is necessary to kill off most decomposition organisms, though I'm not sure whether only applies to fresh meat or includes dry meat too. Even if it did use super-salty urine, 9% probably wouldn't be enough to delay decomposition to last it through most of the winter. I don't think it could smoke the meat to reduce the salt needed. I'd recommend either dropping the "splash of seawater" part for just dried meat, kept in a dry, enclosed area, or adding some very potent, special preservative herb species it uses before this one is approved.
(There's the fairly plausible, low-tech options of pickling and maybe using honey from beach Xenobees, but that's far from jerky.)
Some references:
https://worldbuilding.stackexchange.com/que...erve-their-food
https://www.reddit.com/r/Survival/comments/...ival_situation/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salt-cured_meat
There is the option of using super-concentrated salty urine, as seals and sea lions have urine up to 2 and a half times saltier than seawater (theoretically 9% salt), but that's probably too gross. According to Wikipedia, at least 20% salt is necessary to kill off most decomposition organisms, though I'm not sure whether only applies to fresh meat or includes dry meat too. Even if it did use super-salty urine, 9% probably wouldn't be enough to delay decomposition to last it through most of the winter. I don't think it could smoke the meat to reduce the salt needed. I'd recommend either dropping the "splash of seawater" part for just dried meat, kept in a dry, enclosed area, or adding some very potent, special preservative herb species it uses before this one is approved.
(There's the fairly plausible, low-tech options of pickling and maybe using honey from beach Xenobees, but that's far from jerky.)
Some references:
https://worldbuilding.stackexchange.com/que...erve-their-food
https://www.reddit.com/r/Survival/comments/...ival_situation/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salt-cured_meat
It's an interesting genus group. I like how you've added a supplementary image. I also like the complex, sparkly rainbow texture and pattern.
"their sticky anterior" That suggests they collectively have one anterior membrane.
The rods of cartilage-like material remind me of some Carpolantaians from the Beta timeline. Was this inspired by Carpolantaians from the Beta timeline?
"their sticky anterior" That suggests they collectively have one anterior membrane.
The rods of cartilage-like material remind me of some Carpolantaians from the Beta timeline. Was this inspired by Carpolantaians from the Beta timeline?
| QUOTE (Cube67 @ Apr 2 2021, 06:01 PM) |
I don't have any actual criticisms, it's a pretty plain species that seems to be playing it very safe in terms of wacky adaptations. |
You're right. It's pretty plain by Sagan 4 standards...although the Corvisnapper is basically a crow with pterosaur and "birdosaur" elements, and is still perfectly good. It reminds me of some long-extinct weird mammals from the Cenozoic.
It's interesting to see the bulbous mushroom-nose typical of tams actually get used for something unique.
It's a pink color to blend in with dry puffgrass, right? It might be useful to point that out in the description, since pink is not typically a good camouflage color on Earth.
View Desktop Version | Disable Images in Posts
Powered by Invision Power Board (Jcink) © 2023 IPS, Inc.
Powered by Invision Power Board (Jcink) © 2023 IPS, Inc.