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That is one fuzzy, cuddly beast. It's reasonably Earthlike and familiar, but looks more creative than the Incredibly Generic Flunejaw.

What a coincidence. Just today I saw several crustose lichen species and got inspired to draw crustose lichen species based on them, in addition to a lichen-like Sappro descendant.

I'll provide feedback for these later: older submissions take priority.

Sagan 4 Beta isn't open quite yet. However, you should be able to submit things on the Alpha timeline soon.

On the wiki, the Migrating Capispine is listed as extinct. Was it marked as extinct erroneously, because its habitat wasn't actually lost?

I think "favorite food" is reasonably formal.

QUOTE (OviraptorFan @ Jan 30 2023, 05:32 PM)
I still feel like the torso is way too compressed, it just looks like it has no room for guts at all...


As Disgustedorite said, it's as compressed as a giraffe. The limited gut capacity was justified through my suggestion that it mainly eat highly digestible tissues, which was incorporated into the description. Technically speaking, most herbivores would eat highly digestible tissues like new shoots or leaves if they could, but this one just makes it explicit.

What's stopping Sagan 4 from having two lineages of microbial endophytes? With the sheer variety of flora and likely different biochemistry and anatomy, this seems, if anything, even more plausible than in real life. As for the nitrocycles, perhaps those could be soft-retconned by creating a more realistic descendant to replace it, although I believe it would be unprecedented in the Alpha timeline to make a genus group extinct.

HethrJarrod, please don't "@" me unless something urgently needs my attention. I've accepted it lately because of the need to finish the Generation, but it needs to be done with proper cause. "@s" are pretty pushy when I already have an auto-checker set for the forum. I've only used "@" for new members in case they haven't set up checking habits (or auto-checkers) yet.

“ try and steal” (Try to steal)
There’s a stray comma after “Shailnitor” in the diet list.
“These oils”: That doesn’t make sense; just “oils” will do.
It seems “shy of” means “just slightly less than”. You may have meant “shy away from”, although “it is not against” is more straightforward. However, “It will occasionally dive into the water” is clearer.
Since you used “them” in the second sentence, saying “foods” in the first sentence, in the plural, makes more sense.

There aren’t any organisms simply called “Ferrine”. You must have meant “Ferries”, the genus group.

That little black speck in the art is annoying and conspicuous, but I’m going to say it’s a tiny volcanic islet seen on a very foggy day above the ocean and let it pass.

“it at the top of the cell.”
The “it” is misplaced.
“Rock layer” I recommend adding a comma after this.
Otherwise, so far as I can tell by what I know about chemosynthetic bacteria, it seems sound.

QUOTE (Disgustedorite @ Jan 30 2023, 09:37 AM)
I also don't understand why this is necessary at all. I'm pretty sure there's a swift-like pterosaur that just has short arms and a really long wing finger, and just like saucebacks, they walk on their wings.


The pterosaur Anurognathus, perhaps? That depends on just how short counts as "short".

I recommend "cut grass (3-hexenal)", without the quotes.

How about, "The only body part of the organism that is visible to passersby aboveground are its crystals, which are comparatively soft like its ancestral form relative to other crystals. "

Mayith,

I noticed you added Ferries to its diet. That was a good choice. There’s no rule an organism can’t eat just two local species, and in fact many real-life animals do just that, but it’s generally a good idea to list out more than two species it can eat.

You’ll need to:
*Capitalize the common name
*Remove the umlaut from the scientific name
*Capitalize “phlock” in the template
*Capitalize “lungs” in the template
*Capitalize “the sun eyed phlock”

There are others, but at this point I think you could notice them if you looked through it again.
I noticed some errors have persisted through feedback. If it’s a lot of feedback, try responding it as a checklist, rather than keeping it all in your head.

It's possible you made mistakes and didn't notice you were making them because you haven't sufficiently practiced implementing good English sentences in non-description communications. With steady practice, making good descriptions should become easier with time.


Wow, these crystal flora look drastically different from other ones. Is the shape a long and flexible triangular prism or pyramid, or are they like leeks in cross-section? A cross-section seen from the top could be useful.

As much as I like very long descriptions for genus groups, it is quite the wall of text. It would help to break it up with a few diagrams.

 waters in the soil 
(Water in the soil)
“Colonial form”: “Colonial forms”, or, to differentiate it from, say, American colonial times, “colony forms”.
Why is “cut grass” put in quotes?
“Cells typically green”: The meaning would be clearer if you said, “cells which are typically green In this lineage”.
“Fruiting body,” should be “fruiting body:”
Personally I prefer using hyphens for closely connected concepts such as for “spore-filled chambers”.
“Newly founded solitude”? Like “founding a city”? I think “solitude” is used in a very strange way here.
“Snuff out its cousins and siblings”: Euphemistic fratricide/relative-cide is an odd thing to bring up in alien crystal lichen-truffles.

“underground. Assuming they do not dessicate in the heat of the day.” These need to be merged together. “Desiccate” is also misspelled.

“ spreading, net” The comma should be removed.
“terran”: Terran.

“stout, remains” Stout remains.
“The tip of the root nub” This sentence should be split.

“The crystals, the only part” This sentence would be better if split.

“this lack of firm rigidity” There’s a capitalization error, and “firm rigidity” seems redundant.

“They still expand[…]” This sentence should be split.
“age related” Age-related.

“workhorses” It’s a bit weird to use this in modern times, when so few people are even familiar with using horses as beasts of burden.

“layer, this layer” The comma should be a colon. This sentence should also be split.

less pronounce (less pronounced)

“entrypoint” Entry point.

“often to spend” Often spend.

“wakes up” would be clearer as “active” or “metabolically active ”.

@KiwiPistola15:

In the template, the lines are not spaced out. Please remove the extra spaces between lines. We definitely need to change the spacing in the default template, since three members have been led astray by this.

The number and kind of errors, such as using “his” instead of “its”, capitalizing certain words for unclear reasons, and odd word choices (such as “kids” and “rough” to describe neck muscles), suggest this description was translated by a machine. If you’re not confident in your English usage skills, it’s best to start with something simple, like a “plant” (flora).


@mayith:

You’ll need to capitalize the names in the template: specifically, the common name, ancestor name, and habitat.
At the top of the template, in the common-names line, don’t put in “common name”, but the common name itself.
I’m pretty sure umlauts don’t appear in scientific names. Not everyone knows how to type in an umlaut.

There needs to be a paragraph break between the end of the template and the start of thee description.

I see that you revised “for more agility”, but the rephrasing has the same problem. “Their legs grew taller and thinner, helping them evade predators” would be better. “To live mainly” has the same problem. You can say, “and lives mainly”.
Unless there’s an expectation predators would be fooled by its wings, there’s no reason to point them out.

“wings.Like” This needs a space after the period.


“Chattering”: Chatter.
“Male and females”: Males and females.
“There is a[…]” needs commas.
“Head crown” is one word. “Head display” or “cranial adornment” does feel less awkward, though.
“The males usually”: This sentence needs commas, as well as a period at the end.

I recommend brushing up on how to use “[verb]-ing”.

The rainforest would logically be full of trees and undergrowth. Having legs that long might actually hinder its navigation, because there are so many tripping hazards. This is especially true because it’s so huge. Proportionately, the legs are longer than a marsh deer’s, although a better comparison of a rainforest-dwelling ungulate is the okapi, whose legs are proportionately shorter and thicker.

Barlowe Subtropical Woodland, an adjacent habitat, is likely to be better-suited. (It’s adjacent on the upper-right of the Barlowe Tropical Rainforest habitat.) It would be reasonable to extend its range to Barlowe Chaparral, too: its very long legs would be well-suited for a relatively open and grassy environment. I’d also recommend marshes, were they any on Barlowe. (Realistically, there would be some; I suppose you could use Barlowe Tropical Beach to suggest small marshy areas) An easier, if somewhat sloppier solution is to make it much smaller, though retaining its proportionately very long legs, and mentioning it lives on the edges of the environment, where it's easier to navigate.

The word “pouch” does suggest something like a kangaroo pouch, but you’re going for something more like the dewlap on a lizard here, so “dewlap” or “flap of skin” would be better.


@KXDino8:
It is the convention here to put the common name on its own in the common name line in the template, without using “common name”.
“Plant stalks” The flora on Sagan 4 are not part of the kingdom Plantae, so they aren’t technically plants. Therefore, we call them “flora”. The easiest solution is to use “stalks”.
Pink is a weirdly conspicuous color for it to have in this habitat. It doesn’t blend in with anything. I suppose it would sort of blend in with dried dead or dormant purpleflora, which is at least sometimes pinkish (this was decided recently), but in the rainforest, dead flora would likely not get fully dried up and turn pinkish.

The easiest solution is to make it some shade of dark ruddy-red, brown (e.g., to blend in with Barnline trunks), purple, or black (to blend in with local blackflora). Of course, you could always make it have a more complicated color pattern than a solid color of each, such as having countershading or spots.

@demon7sword, are there any updates on your entry submission? Updates are needed.

QUOTE (Disgustedorite @ Jan 27 2023, 05:37 PM)
Side views with just one leg from each pair visible like this aren't technically disallowed. They're clearly bilateral.

Support would actually be Endoskeleton (Jointed Wood)


Disgustedorite, we both know about the effect of anatomical misinterpretations in Sagan 4's history. It would prevent the hassle of fixing misunderstandings later to make the other legs visible, especially since, in this organism's case, the other legs would surely be visible because of its leg shapes and proportions.

Please remove the paragraph spaces in the template. I know that's how it appears on the template topic, and since it seems a lot of new members are getting led astray by it, it'll be fixed.
You'll need to capitalize the beginnings of words in the template.
The diet should be formatted as: "Herbivore (Quhft, Tubeplage), Photosynthesis"
Since it's a plent, list "wooden bones".
1 meter is 100 cm, so, for concision's sake, use "3.5 m".

I wonder why you put brackets in your organism description? In any case, Sagan 4 submission descriptions don't use brackets.
They can flare their wings, yes, although depending on the size of the predator, it probably wouldn't work.
"for more agility": this suggests intentionality or purpose in evolution, which is deceptive. Certainly, evolutionary pressures can lead to particular, even predictable developments, but Sagan 4 organisms are made with a naturalistic idea. "Airplanes are light for flying" conveys something different from "Sparrows are light for flying".
The sentences need more commas, especially in the last sentence.

The art is good, but you'll need to portray all the legs and wings. It seems there was some leftover text from when you inserted the image, too.



@KXDino8,
Since we’re receiving an unusual number of new members lately, we might lose track of your entry submission. You can alert us by making a feedback request in this topic, sending messages to us individually, or perhaps “pinging” (using the @ option) us in your original post.

You’ll still need to add the image.

You’ll need to capitalize the reproductive methods and “Barlowe Temperate Woodland”, as well as the first word in the scientific name. (Consider: Tyrannosaurus rex)

Remember, the “animals” here are called “fauna”, since they’re not actually in the kingdom Animalia. You’ll need to correct that. Try making a checklist of feedback and working on that if you can’t keep the corrections in your head.

It’s still unclear how the webbed tail helps with digging.

How would the sails aid in cooling or heating up? They spend the day in burrows, which are generally of a stable temperature compared to above the ground, and they only come out at night. The sail structures might be useful for cooling down were it a large creature in a tropical rainforest, but it’s a temperate rainforest, which is cooler. Depending on how big the tunnels are, the sails might interfere with tunneling.

On an unrelated note, I recommend getting an avatar, so you have a “face” for the community to look at.

“Small family group”: you meant “small family groups”. Using spellcheck on a word processor, like Microsoft Word or LibreOffice, might help you.

Are you sure the burrow has a corkscrew shape? That would be architecturally difficult. A spiral shape makes more sense.

For the final version of the submission, please omit the parenthetical statement about the pale purple color.

Axolotls are physiologically adults (i.e., can reproduce) in bodies which approximate the juvenile forms of their ancestors. While knowing how neoteny develops in Binucleozoa would be interesting, it's not necessary to elaborate on the mechanism. You can still do it, of course. It's possible the two cell lineages of Binucleozoa have been joined together for so long that they've experienced horizontal gene transfer between them, which might allow them to be receptive in some way to each other's hormones.

i know what biological oil compounds are. But unless it's a special means of obtaining particular components, why specify it gets that raw material from its diet? Every animal gets its base materials for its diet and create compounds within its body from them.

When people say, "The protein in a flamingo's body comes from shrimp", that isn't distinctive. Everyone can get protein from shrimp, and many other foods besides that. When people say, "Flamingos are pink because of the pigments in the shrimp in their diet", that is more noteworthy. What are even the chances this organism would have a completely lipid-free diet in the wild, to the point it wouldn't be able to make the oil even if its caloric needs were met? I figure the chances are practically zero.

Sheather was right. It is very generic. It even has doglike claws instead of big mole-like claws, as a lot of Sagan 4 organisms have. It doesn't even a purple tongue or something else unusual that wouldn't be too hard to explain for a tetrapod.

QUOTE (HethrJarrod @ Jan 27 2023, 09:02 AM)
QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Jan 27 2023, 09:33 AM)
I searched "oil" and "oily" on the Sagan 4 wiki. The only results which would apply in these circumstances is how the Disorderly Gelatin (and likely at least some Twinkiiro descendants, e.g., Twinkiiros and Twinkorals) has oil stores. Unless Disorderly Gelatin descendants are secretly the lynchpin of oceanic ecology as a source of lipids low on the food chain, it seems best to assume it doesn't produce the oil like real-life waterfowl do. (Although, for such an important but uncommon claim, it make sense to provide a link.)


You’re also forgetting the Oilicle and a few others.
And The Mouse Gryphler does this as well. https://sagan4alpha.miraheze.org/wiki/Mouse_Gryphler


I did not forget the Oilicle.
Oilicle predators: Mortusyte, Mortuprey
Mortusyte predators: Umbrajet
Mortuprey predators: Umbrajet
Umbrajet predators: none.

Lipids derived from Oilicles would have a hard time getting into these.

As for the Mouse Gryphler....those don't even have overlapping habitats.

Colddigger, I did just mention kiiros would surely have oil in them, and suggested the possibility they are lynchpins of lipids in the ocean.

How many background biochemical assumptions do we need to make? Them synthesizing their own lipids from base components is still an option.

I searched "oil" and "oily" on the Sagan 4 wiki. The only results which would apply in these circumstances is how the Disorderly Gelatin (and likely at least some Twinkiiro descendants, e.g., Twinkiiros and Twinkorals) has oil stores. Unless Disorderly Gelatin descendants are secretly the lynchpin of oceanic ecology as a source of lipids low on the food chain, it seems best to assume it doesn't produce the oil like real-life waterfowl do. (Although, for such an important but uncommon claim, it make sense to provide a link.)

@KXDino8:

Use the image link of the image, and then add it to the forum using the link button just above the textbox that appears if you click "Full Reply". It's above the upper left of the text box.

The lines of the template should not be spaced out like that, though I suppose the submission formatting topic doesn’t make that clear. Here’s an exampleexample of correct spacing formatting.

For habitat, put “Barlowe Temperate Rainforest, Barlowe Temperate Woodland”. (No quotes, to be clear) On the wiki, habitats aren’t listed by “and”.

Diet: You’ll need to specify the “roots” and “ground vegetables”. Personally, I recommend getting familiar with the specific organisms living in a habitat for one’s submissions. It does feel lazy to resort to listing out exclusively genus groups as part of the diet. Still, the easiest solution is to go through the genus groups listings and find flora with roots or other underground structures it could eat. Sunstalks are one example.

For support, put wooden bones, since its lineage has wooden bones by default. As for thermoregulation and respiration….those are newly-added parts to the template, like support, so information isn’t yet available for all organisms.

The “animals” on Sagan 4 are called “fauna”, because they’re not actually in the kingdom Animalia.
“Easily, they”: The comma should be a period.
It is odd their eyes would be better than their ancestors while they simultaneously seem more adapted to life as a burrowing fauna.
“Enemies” is an odd turn of phrase. Did you mean “predators”.
I’m not sure how a semi-webbed tail would aid it in digging, or even what a semi-webbed tail would look like.

Why is it pink? If you’re doing that to suggest a naked mole rat, it’s important to know that plent blood is green, so they wouldn’t be pinkish if unpigmented. (As for the actual biochemistry of why their blood is green…that’s still being worked on, but it’s a long-established feature of the lineage from long ago, when Sagan 4’s scientific plausibility standards were lower.)

Is there any other feedback you might provide, in fully-punctuated sentences? Otherwise, I'll see if I can add more myself. I'm trying to find animals other than snake-and-worm shapes which are very easy to draw. Shockscooters have round, simple shapes, but it's still probably too complicated for a beginner.

EDIT: This seems sufficient to release. I've provided a variety of options, even for fauna.

QUOTE (DemonicTigerBr @ Jan 25 2023, 06:17 PM)
So, as the first alien that i have, its the Hominos, a specie of bird that can variate a lot of color, beak shape, tails quantity, but if is there a thing that all of them have in common, its his tail, that have a glowing bioluminesense, but they can variate of many colors.

They have a size of a macaw


@DemonicTigerBr, You must have been very eager indeed to become a member, because it looks like you zeroed in on this topic. Lurk around for a while first. Get familiar with the conventions and rules of organism submission. I recommend starting with the Sagan 4 Project Rules, and then looking for a suitable organism to evolve from on the wiki. (To make your search easier: skysnappers, phylers and biats are loosely birdlike.)

I noticed that you made several English usage errors in your description. If English isn't your native language, you may find it easier to start with a simple organism, with a shorter, simpler idea. I believe looking among genus groups on the Week 27 Ecosystem Page will speed up your search for an organism that's easy to write a good description for. All you have to do is paraphrase some basic details from the genus group you're evolving it from, and add any novel features, like being adapted to specific conditions or specialized for a particular way of life or diet. Microbe (e.g., bacteria-like or protist-like) or flora (like plants) submissions are generally easier to draw and write descriptions for than fauna (like animals).

@demon7sword, it's very hard to interpret the art. The way the wings and legs were drawn makes it difficult to tell it was descended from the Slicewing. Since it seems you have trouble drawing shapes and depth, I recommend starting with simpler shapes, to build up your skills. Thankfully, there are plenty of organisms which are easy to draw. I've even made a first draft of a list of easy-to-draw organisms for our latest influx of members, though I'm getting feedback from other staff members before posting it.

Judging by what I can guess from your art and what I can guess of your writing ability or knowledge of biology, if you want to start with fauna, I recommend making a descendant of some kind of Qural or Pukai. There are likely other options, but those are the two at the top of my head. Try going to the Sagan 4 wiki (Alpha timeline, to be clear) to find one of them, and then make a descendant for them. If want something even simpler to write and draw, the Marbleflora or Chambered Bobiiro are very simple. They're just circles with spots, stripes, or little plus-shaped patterns.

If you're using Microsoft Paint, the simplest solution to improve your art's lineart issues is to make solid lineart (with no grey dots at the edge to soften it) with the pencil icon, and then use the paint bucket in the white space enclosed within the lines.

You'll still need to post the art on the forum, of course. A webpage link won't work for the template.