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The mouth is on the other side though? You really can't just do whatever willy nilly to the anatomy like this. That is analogous to adding a deep reproductive pit to the belly of a plent and then making it eat with it.

Elaborated further about the reproduction method.
Fixed art.

This post has been edited by HethrJarrod: Nov 7 2022, 04:22 AM

oh!

might you add that supplemental image to the main submission so it isn't skipped over?

Could someone else do a second review of this?


.. wait, does that supplemental image still apply? has its reproductive method changed?

This post has been edited by colddigger: Jan 15 2023, 11:30 PM

Image should still be correct. Added to main page.

QUOTE (colddigger @ Jan 16 2023, 02:27 AM)

oh! might you add that supplemental image to the main submission so it isn't skipped over? Could someone else do a second review of this? .. wait, does that supplemental image still apply? has its reproductive method changed?

So they shake their leaves to release spores, do they still take advantage of small fauna walking on them?

You could add that they also take advantage of outside disturbances to release spores and fall back onto shaking their leaves when that is not an option.

QUOTE (colddigger @ Jan 29 2023, 11:27 PM)

So they shake their leaves to release spores, do they still take advantage of small fauna walking on them? You could add that they also take advantage of outside disturbances to release spores and fall back onto shaking their leaves  when that is not an option.

“When small fauna walk into this ring, the Flurroom flap their leaves to shake off the spores which attach to the organism similar to pollen. It will sometimes shake the spores off even without a trigger if the spores get heavy enough.”


Is this ok?

I think that sounds really good, takes better advantage of the environment than the original idea even.

Are we sure this would still be the same genus as their ancestor?

"Topmast Fuzzpalm" should be "Topship Fuzzpalm"

"It will futily attempt to slow its descent by flapping its leaves." If it's futile, why do it?

Oh, I kind of thought that that was a reference to a reflex to attempt to grab something that just converts into a kind of a flappy motion of its limbs when I read that.

But now that there's an environmental stimulus for reproduction then maybe it would be a matter of that centerpiece being stimulated by air rushing past and then that triggering the limbs to perform their spore spreading motion.

That's a thought.

QUOTE (OviraptorFan @ Jan 30 2023, 03:30 PM)

Are we sure this would still be the same genus as their ancestor?

I would say it's probably new

You misspelled your name in the template.
“Topmast Fuzzpalm” needs to be revised to “Topship Fuzzpalm”. Nothing’s stopping you from making a “Topmast Fuzzpalm” later, but for now, the typo must be corrected.

“Diverging away” is redundant phrasing: “diverging” would be be better.

The problem with “Futilely” has been pointed out before. One option is “reflexively (if futilely)”.
“Juvenile” should not be capitalized in the description.
“The Flurroom” This seems to be a using odd pluralization, like “deer” or “sheep”. Is that intended? Regardless, “When the Flurroom become an adult” suggests they all collectively become a single adult, which is incorrect.
I don’t think a “proto-cuticle” could really develop into a nutrient-leeching appendage. In plants, cuticles on leaves are separate from roots.
While “gonads” is a widely-used scientific term, and is used in things as different from humans as, say, a scallop, I still personally prefer using “reproductive organs” or “reproductive glands”.

Ok edited per Coolstephs suggestions

HethrJarrod,

Only a few minor issues remain. Arguably, it’s ready for approval right now, but I wanted to remind you to be more conscientious about your submissions so future submissions don’t require quite as much feedback as this one. It’s particularly important to respond fully to feedback, like the “Topmast Fuzzpalm” typo (which was pointed out twice before), so people don’t have to repeat it later.

There are some stray lines on the edges of the Flurroom. They could be interpreted as suggesting a fuzzy surface. While lines for art don’t have to be perfect, the consistently of this style of line-drawing could easily suggest a surface texture it doesn’t actually have. The easiest solution is to indeed confirm it’s a fuzzy texture. This would probably slightly reduce desiccation, and might be useful sensory structures.

The way the branch’s lines are drawn underneath the tentacles suggest the tentacles are transparent or translucent. It’s hard to justify why that would be so, given its environment and physiology, so I recommend coloring over those lines.

There’s an extra space before the first paragraph, which should be deleted.

An instance of “Topmast Fuzzpalm” remains in the description. When people provide feedback, I recommend using Ctrl+F to find all instances of the typo pointed out. For common typos without legitimate uses in the description, you can use LibreOffice (and potentially Microsoft Office) to automatically swap out typos for the correctly-spelled words by specifying the typo and the word to change it to.

There’s no need to italicize the names of host flora, although this is a minor error that would be corrected on the wiki anyway.

“Host plant” Flora. They aren’t in the kingdom Plantae, so they aren’t plants. The “plants” on Sagan 4 can be very different from normal Earth plants, so it’s important to remember they’re not normal plants, even if their ecological function is often very similar.

To be fair regarding the italics, bolding, etc. These are things that would need to be manually applied when uploaded to the wiki so it doesn't really matter that much.