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Support cannot just list material. It must describe the method and structure as well.

I don't have time now to go over all of it yet, but I can offer quick feedback.

Can you split the description into sections?

It's odd to describe pheromone-laden mucus as "addictive". Does it have addictive compounds in addition to pheromones? Or is it better to say that the pheromones have an irresistible luring effect? It's worth saying because some substances which are habit-forming aren't necessarily (or indisputably) addictive. Milkshakes aren't necessarily as bad as cigarettes in addictive potential.

If you do go for addictive compounds, nicotine is an option. Some plants have nicotine in their flower nectar, and bees can become addicted to it. Caffeine is another option.

"The sleeve ferine bioaccumulates cadmium and lead in its wood, with a smaller quantity in its latex."
It could be argued that, since the males eat Sleeve Ferine seedlings, the Sleeve Ferines haven't had enough time to accumulate much cadmium or lead. However, the cadmium and lead might become concentrated in the female as she eats her parthenogenetic clone-offspring. If the adult female has no way to eliminate lead and cadmium from her body, then she might eventually suffer toxic effects over years of consuming clones that have eaten sleeve ferines.

There's an "it's/its" error at the end.

QUOTE (Disgustedorite @ Sep 14 2022, 06:14 AM)

Support cannot just list material. It must describe the method and structure as well.

Added exoskeleton.

I've been meaning to ask you, since the greater lahn is yours, how a 3 foot tall wing thick as a large sharpie supported itself.

I was wanting to give this a wafflecone texture internal skeleton and/or lengths of support arranged like the bones in a corset, though round and built for top down compressive strength rather than flat.

But if you had other thoughts I'm interested.

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Sep 14 2022, 06:32 AM)

I don't have time now to go over all of it yet, but I can offer quick feedback. Can you split the description into sections? It's odd to describe pheromone-laden mucus as "addictive". Does it have addictive compounds in addition to pheromones? Or is it better to say that the pheromones have an irresistible luring effect? It's worth saying because some substances which are habit-forming aren't necessarily (or indisputably) addictive. Milkshakes aren't necessarily as bad as cigarettes in addictive potential. If you do go for addictive compounds, nicotine is an option. Some plants have nicotine in their flower nectar, and bees can become addicted to it. Caffeine is another option. "The sleeve ferine bioaccumulates cadmium and lead in its wood, with a smaller quantity in its latex." It could be argued that, since the males eat Sleeve Ferine seedlings, the Sleeve Ferines haven't had enough time to accumulate much cadmium or lead. However, the cadmium and lead might become concentrated in the female as she eats her parthenogenetic clone-offspring. If the adult female has no way to eliminate lead and cadmium from her body, then she might eventually suffer toxic effects over years of consuming clones that have eaten sleeve ferines. There's an "it's/its" error at the end.

I split it up somewhat, I don't think I wrote it as streamlined as other descriptions so it's a little more difficult.

I think I prefer the irresistible approach, since true addiction could cause survival problems. Thank you for that.

I added a bit about the sleeve Ferine, and I may add more in that section about the affects this species has on forest health and their environment.

" highly irresistible" "Irresistible" is an absolute term.

Interestingly, if pheromones are the only way males locate females to mate with, any mutation allowing for resistance to the luring effect of the pheromone would be hard to pass down genetically. It's like the femme fatale fireflies (Photuris) eating the males of other firefly species by imitating flashes of light.

Unless they come up with some other method of finding mates, even a mutation that lets a clone-male escape getting eaten by his clone-mother by entering a deeper torpor would be hard to pass down unless the male becomes a tree and makes clones itself. Oh boy...this is a dystopian kind of worm, where these punk-worms serving The System eventually become The System even if they escape or fizzle away into (genetic) irrelevance.

You'll have to be more clearly distinguish the diet of the males and females in the template.

There's more, but I'll have to come back later.

Since you've mentioned it,
If a tree made males that had the behavior to go into deep torpor and not be devoured, the tree would either need to go into extreme torpor itself or starve during the winter, more likely the second one.

A descendent could be a population that does this, and results in a biennial worm that always dies in it's second winter.

I think I will make that descendent next gen.

Approval Checklist:

Art:

Art Present?: y
Art clear?: y
Gen number?: y
All limbs shown?: y
Reasonably Comparable to Ancestor?: y
Realistic additions?: y

Name:
Binomial Taxonomic Name?: y
Creator?: y

Ancestor:
Listed?: y
What changes?:
External?: fewer wings, taller wings, merged into a trunk-like shoot
Internal?:
Behavioral/Mental?: Female pheromones
Are Changes Realistic?: y
New Genus Needed? (If yes, list why): not yet... but its descendant might

Habitat:
Type?: 1
Flavor?: 1
Connected?:
Wildcard?: n

Size:
Same as Ancestor?: n
Within range?: yes
Exception?:

Support:
Same as Ancestor?: y
Does It Fit Habitat?: y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: y
Other?: y

Diet:
Same as Ancestor?: y
Transition Rule?: y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: expanding the diet somewhat

Respiration:
Same as Ancestor?: y
Does It Fit Habitat?: y
Reasonable changes (if any)?:
Other?:

Thermoregulation:
Same as Ancestor?: y
Does It Fit Habitat?: y
Reasonable changes (if any)?:
Other?:

Reproduction:
Same as Ancestor?: y
Does It Fit Habitat?: y
Reasonable changes (if any)?:
Other?:

Description:
Length?: Good, Detailed
Capitalized correctly?: y
Replace/Split from ancestor?: Split
Other?:

Opinion: Approved;

Agreed