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Name: Minidartirs (Katanimusca spp.)
Creator: HethrJarrod
Ancestor: Dartirs
Habitat: Lamarck, Barlowe, Driftwoods Islands, Vonnegut, Fermi, Wallace, Steiner, Ramul, Koseman
Size: 1-5 cm long
Support: Exoskeleton (Chitin)
Diet: Detritivore, Scavenger, Coprophage
Respiration: Semi-Active (Unidirectional Tracheae)
Thermoregulation: Ectotherm
Reproduction: Sexual, Hermaphrodite, Metamorphosis(Eggs, Larvae, Adult)

The Minidartirs split off from their ancestors the dartirs. Originating from the Driftwood Islands and shrinking down to the size of only a few centimeters, they rapidly spread to other habitats via sea shrog nests. There they found a plentiful source of food in the form of sea shrog detritus. This allowed them to spread to many different regions. Because they are not able to keep warm at such a small size in colder temperatures, they have not yet been able to spread to subpolar, polar, or montane habitats. Like the terran housefly, the minidartirs are known disease spreaders, such as pestilences. The diseases hang on the abdominal hairs, and are carried from place to place.

Minidartirs land on a surface and use two forewings to stabilize themselves along with its frontal horn and tail stinger. Their most noticeable feature is the lack of an internal stomach. That is because they don’t need it. The adult form only has a few days to live and find a place to lay its eggs.

Unlike their ancestors, they mate whenever possible, laying their eggs within any sort of large amounts of rotting matter and die. The worm-like larvae hatch, feed on the decaying matter, then change into their adult forms. These adult forms only survive a few days. During the change to their adult form, their digestive systems atrophy. Reproductive systems take precedence, and the adults die, providing the young with more nutrients.

This post has been edited by HethrJarrod: May 22 2023, 04:18 AM

You are limited to 2 wips per generation. Do not post any more wips.

QUOTE (Disgustedorite @ Apr 3 2023, 03:56 PM)

You are limited to 2 wips per generation. Do not post any more wips.

These are just because I don’t have access to the artwork /filegarden on my phone

For size if you add that the numbers listed are regarding wingspan, then we can have a very small thing. Too bad everyone has generally agreed that wingspan is not a very good choice, just because of artistic issues, so one to five centimeters long should suffice.

How big are its ancestors? I feel like these things should really be less than a centimeter honestly, maybe next round.

Then again they're offspring are immediately flighted aren't they? I guess it's their offspring that will be filling in the role of very very small flying insect, that's an interesting thought.

QUOTE (colddigger @ Apr 4 2023, 02:08 AM)

For size if you add that the numbers listed are regarding wingspan, then we can have a very small thing. Too bad everyone has generally agreed that wingspan is not a very good choice, just because of artistic issues, so one to five centimeters long should suffice. How big are its ancestors? I feel like these things should really be less than a centimeter honestly, maybe next round. Then again they're offspring are immediately flighted aren't they? I guess it's their offspring that will be filling in the role of very very small flying insect, that's an interesting thought.

https://sagan4alpha.miraheze.org/wiki/Dartirs
Size: 10-20 cm

I am not using a wingspan in length, that's 1-5 cm tip to tail.

Minibees are only 1-3 cm in length, so these are comparable to those.

Image:

Are those stripes on the wings of the background ones, like a picture-winged fly, or veins? If so, shouldn’t they look more like veins?
It would help to depict the others closer to the foreground , to show more detail.

These seem to lack any sort of hair coverage. Certainly, a hairy fauna can yield hairless descendants, but those hairs were important because they were sensory hairs which allowed it to navigate, despite lacking eyes. (Whether a sense of smell and vague “sensitive hairs” are sufficient for the demands of frequent flight is debatable, but, still, it’s something.)

The abdomen seems to have gone through huge changes, but it’s hard to say exactly how it’s changed because pf the ambiguous art style. This species doesn’t seem to have cloacal lips, and instead seems to have a pointy tail. This isn’t impossible, but it needs justification.

What is it feeding on? It’s hard to tell if it’s a mound of brown leaves or feces. It looked like a rock at first.

The wings have a different structure now, and lack rims/structural veins on the leading edge. (like those on a dragonfly, for lack of a better comparison). Why? The wings also connect to the body differently: they don’t look plugged into sockets.

—

Description:

If the offspring are immediately flighted, how big are they at hatching? This could be…complicated, since extremely small flying animals like fairyflies (a kind of wasp) have substantially different wings from something like a fruit fly.

Can you explicitly specify why it hasn’t been able to spread to the subpolar, polar, and montane habitats?
Specifying it’s disease vector when disease biodiversity is terribly low and vague is an odd preposition.

“The Dartirs, originating”. These sentence clauses don’t seem to flow well together. Try separating them.

You mention “diversification”. What different features do different species have? If they’re all basically identical, you could say “speciation” instead.

“Minidartirs[…]itself”. This is a plural issue.
“Most noticeable feature”. (Their most noticeable feature).
I wonder if they’re even adapted to allow “slurping” (or sucking, to whatever degree it’s different).

If it doesn’t have an internal stomach, how does it absorb nutrients? Does it go straight from the esophagus to the gut? Is this a condition of its ancestors, or did it lose its stomach? Why did this occur?

It seems the horn of its ancestor turned into a beak-like proboscis, which is pretty extreme, even given the potentially rapid pace of extreme R-strategists like Dartirs. How did this happen? What were the intermediate steps?

Changed the artwork & description per Coolsteph suggested revisions.

"Ocean ad speciation"
Typo

Also, "When it became much smaller than its ancestor, getting rid of a stomach was Instead of a stomach"

It needs to list the driftwoods and have an explanation for how it's in so many disconnected landmasses.

QUOTE (Disgustedorite @ Apr 29 2023, 05:29 PM)

It needs to list the driftwoods and have an explanation for how it's in so many disconnected landmasses.

Added.

QUOTE (HethrJarrod @ Apr 3 2023, 08:50 PM)

Originating from the Driftwood Islands and shrinking down to the size of only a few centimeters.  Their rapid spread to the shores of the Jujubee Ocean, and speciation to the different habitats due to the Seashrog nests.

These sentences don't really make sense. Perhaps "Originating from the Driftwood Islands and shrinking down to the size of only a few centimeters, they rapidly spread to other habitats via Seashrog nests, resulting in speciation."?

QUOTE (Rainbow the Dragon Cat @ Apr 30 2023, 06:59 AM)

QUOTE (HethrJarrod @ Apr 3 2023, 08:50 PM) Originating from the Driftwood Islands and shrinking down to the size of only a few centimeters.  Their rapid spread to the shores of the Jujubee Ocean, and speciation to the different habitats due to the Seashrog nests. These sentences don't really make sense. Perhaps "Originating from the Driftwood Islands and shrinking down to the size of only a few centimeters, they rapidly spread to other habitats via Seashrog nests, resulting in speciation."?

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That sounds great!

This post has been edited by HethrJarrod: Apr 30 2023, 05:49 AM

size still needs the word "long" on it.

In the description you switch between "they" and "it" a lot within paragraphs. I do this too, but it can be jarring when very immediate.

Added “long”

And hopefully fixed some it/them issues

Approval Checklist:
Art:
Art Present?:y
Art clear?:y
Gen number?:y
All limbs shown?:y
Reasonably Comparable to Ancestor?:y
Realistic additions?:y

Name:
Binomial Taxonomic Name?: N, MISSING y
Creator?: y

Ancestor:
Listed?: y
What changes?:
External?: smaller
Internal?: lack of stomach, digestive glands
Behavioral/Mental?: using wings to stabilize when landing, consuming food via external digestion
Are Changes Realistic?: y
New Genus Needed?: Y, NO STOMACH

Habitat:
Type?: GENUS GROUP
Flavor?:
Connected to Ancestor?: y
Contiguous?: y
Wildcard?:

Size:
Same as Ancestor?: n
Within range?: y
Exception?:

Support:
Same as Ancestor?: n
Does it Fit Lifestyle?:y
Does It Fit Size?:y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: y elaborated
Other?:

Diet:
Same as Ancestor?: n
Transition Rule?: y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: y more diverse diet

Respiration:
Same as Ancestor?: n
Does It Fit Habitat?: y
Does it Fit Size?: y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: y brought back older ancestral respiration for template
Other?:

Thermoregulation:
Same as Ancestor?: n
Does It Fit Habitat?:y
Reasonable changes (if any)?:y elaborated
Other?:

Reproduction:
Same as Ancestor?: y
Does It Fit Habitat?: y
Reasonable changes (if any)?:
Other?:

Description:
Length?: short
Capitalized correctly?: y, I think?
Replace/Split from ancestor?: split
Other?: There are still some "it/they" exchange

"Unlike its ancestors, they mate whenever possible, laying their eggs"

for example, but it's mostly good.

Opinion: Pending, name, some clean up i suppose

This post has been edited by colddigger: May 11 2023, 09:33 PM