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*Artist sketch of Sirrush

Name: Sirrush (Edaciuksip marduk)
Ancestor: Snoronk
Creator: HethrJarrod
Habitat: Raptor Highvelt, Raptor Chaparral, West Wallace Tropical Woodland, Wallace Tropical Scrub, Verserus Highvelt, Dixon Tropical Woodland
Size: 70 cm Long
Support: Endoskeleton (Ossified Cartilage)
Diet: Omnivore (Xatazelle, Desert Tilecorn, Xatagolin, Neoshrew, Rosybeak Phyler, Hedgimal, Binsnoo, Opportunity Shrew, Harndum Prickleshrew, Berry Arbourshroom, Kellace, Sunstalks, Supershrooms, Sapshrooms, Arid Plyent, Crown-of-Thorns Plyent, Pixy Plyent, Hood Plyent, Yuccagave, Snow Windbulb, Scrubland Quhft fruit, Scrubland Tubeplage fruit, Robust Arid Ferine fruit, Common Fraboo, Clickworm, Pewpa, Gallratworm, Brutishelm Uksip, Sapworms) Scavenger
Respiration: Active (Lungs)
Thermoregulation: unknown
Reproduction: Sexual, Two Sexes, Soft-Shelled Eggs

The sirrush is very much like its ancestor, the snoronk, replacing it in the highvelts of Raptor and Verserus. Its major difference is the membrane on its upper limbs. Both sexes of sirrush have this membrane, unlike the head crest, which only males have. In males this membrane is used in courtship rituals. During mating season a male sirrush will puff up its throat sac and raise its arms to the sky. is a This throat sac is an expandable pouch which helps the sirrush make simple vocalizations and can be filled with stomach acid to be sprayed onto predators from the proboscis. Raising its arms reveals the full extent of the membrane. It will then flap its arms up and down in an aggressive display. The less intimidating male will back off, and the winner will pair with the female.

The other main use for the membrane is to threaten predators to protect their young. Sirrush are incredibly aggressive. When they notice a threat they will raise their arms, extending the membrane, hoping to intimidate the predator that they are too big of a threat to attack. If the threat continues to approach, they can spit stomach acid at it from their proboscis.

The sirrush also use these arms to steady themselves while chasing after prey. They stalk their prey, sometimes as groups, hidden in the flora, pouncing on them when their prey least expects. If the prey bolts, the sirrush can reach speeds of up to 30 km/h in short bursts.

Some of the smaller sirrush hang out around the nests of pickaxe tamow, hunting the pests found there. They are not attacked by the tamow, but are skittish around them, fleeing if they get too close.

Supplemental Images:


Sketch of throat sac in a deflated and inflated states


Sketch of side view of a Sirrush proboscis

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Species Swap with Colddigger.

This post has been edited by HethrJarrod: May 22 2023, 06:35 AM

Could you state whether they replace it split from their ancestor?

added the Split/Replaced information

QUOTE

Name: Ukdrake (Edaciuksip drakus) Habitat: not Drake

*eye twitch*

As a real comment, I believe you spelled the Ancestor wrong, because it’s nowhere on the Wiki
EDIT: It’s spelled Snoronk

Endoskeleton material should be specified

I feel like there should be more information about the habits? Like all that is discussed is how this creature attracts mates and avoid predation attempts... Also why does this replace it's ancestor?

This post has been edited by OviraptorFan: Apr 29 2023, 03:19 PM

QUOTE (OviraptorFan @ Apr 29 2023, 06:18 PM)

I feel like there should be more information about the habits? Like all that is discussed is how this creature attracts mates and avoid predation attempts... Also why does this replace it's ancestor?

It's pretty much exactly like its ancestors otherwise, same diet, etc.
So similar they'll probably wind up competing. The ones its replacing were isolated pockets of Snoronk as well.

QUOTE (HethrJarrod @ Apr 29 2023, 08:07 PM)

QUOTE (OviraptorFan @ Apr 29 2023, 06:18 PM) I feel like there should be more information about the habits? Like all that is discussed is how this creature attracts mates and avoid predation attempts... Also why does this replace it's ancestor? It's pretty much exactly like its ancestors otherwise, same diet, etc. So similar they'll probably wind up competing. The ones its replacing were isolated pockets of Snoronk as well.

Then mention such things.

Even if I have things in a species im making that aren't different from the ancestor I still mention them. It helps the species stand alone without someone having to dig through several different species to gather necessary information.

Here is some feedback. I’ve decided to number these to make it easier for you to follow along and check them off when revising the submission. Look carefully over the feedback.

Image:

1. There are a lot of stray lines and uncolored spots in both individuals depicted.

2. It’s hard to read the structure of the tip of its proboscis.

3. One of the individuals portrayed has claws, and the other does not, but this is not explained.

4. In the first row of back spikes, one of the spikes seems to be hiding behind the dorsal fin. It is better to make the positioning of the spikes clearer: otherwise, it seems to conflict with the other individual portrayed.

5. On a less important note, the stripes on the legs and the spots on the face don’t match between the two, but they otherwise look similar enough that this doesn’t seem to be explainable by mere genetic variation.

Template:

1The diet list has several errors. At first, I had the impression you went through the regional genus group list and picked out all the macro-level organisms, but the Snoronk itself, somehow, has all those errors. I’m not sure how it was approved, at that rate, and it ought to be corrected. In any case: Flashkelps, Marbleflora, Twinkiiros, Rustmolds, Luminus, Spore Towers, and Larands are all some combination of implausible due to their very small sizes when the fauna has plenty of other things to eat, or living in aquatic habitats there is no indication it is capable of accessing.

2. “Omnivore” should be “Omnivore”, a colon (“:”) is not needed with its particular diet formatting.

3. “Undergroundi, larvaback” needs a space.

4.. "larvaback” should be capitalized.

5. “neuks” should be capitalized.

6. “Soft Shelled Eggs” would be better as “Soft-Shelled Eggs".

Description:

1.“Throat sack”: “Throat sac”.

2. “Sack, raise its arms” “sac and raise its arms”

—

I also agree with OviraptorFan. There needs to be more information in the description.

Got rid of some of the more inconsistent diet, and made some art and description corrections.

Response:

Of the 13 feedback points I mentioned, 5, or 38%, were not responded to. I believed that providing feedback in a well-organized, numbered list might help you address each feedback point without any slipping past you, but it seems it’s not working as intended. You could put the feedback in a task list, like TickTick, to ensure each task is checked off.

"There are a lot of stray lines and uncolored spots in both individuals depicted."
"n the first row of back spikes, one of the spikes seems to be hiding behind the dorsal fin. It is better to make the positioning of the spikes clearer: otherwise, it seems to conflict with the other individual portrayed."

"On a less important note, the stripes on the legs and the spots on the face don’t match between the two, but they otherwise look similar enough that this doesn’t seem to be explainable by mere genetic variation."

"The diet list has several errors.[…]" You still included Rustmolds, though it doesn’t make sense.

"Omnivore” should be “Omnivore”, a colon (“:”) is not needed with its particular diet formatting." (Admittedly, there was an autocorrect error: I meant to point out the typo “omivore”.)

Other feedback:

Including Chitjorns in the diet also doesn’t make sense, although this is a smaller problem than for Rustmolds and I admittedly didn’t mention it earlier.)

Why did you omit undergroundis, larvabacks, and neuks from the diet?

While the other Sirrush has claws now, the foot-claws are a drastically different style (like elephant feet) and aren’t colored in. Please make them a little pointier and color them in. Please also clarify the tips of the beaks more. The bleed-through of the lines on the beak of the one in the foreground makes it hard to detect the full shape of the beak.

If the outward-facing toe (away from the center of the body) is indeed meant be significantly smaller than the other toes, I recommend correcting the size of the outermost claw on the Sirrush’s right (viewers’ right) foot.

“Cartilage” is misspelled in the support section. I’m not sure if cartilage could support something of that size, activity level, speed, and configuration on land. (See this source on humans not having cartilage bones, although this would surely be much lighter than a human.) This source might help you with plausibly carrying out the idea of “ossified cartilage”, if that even makes sense.

I deleted some of the diet such as larvaback because they didn't fit, as they were too aquatic. Went in and deleted other more aquatic prey as well. The diet was indeed just the same as the ancestor, which usually works.

The spike behind the dorsal fin is now shown instead of completely hiding behind it.

"There are a lot of stray lines and uncolored spots in both individuals depicted."
That's just the artistic style.

Hopefully, I got the rest of any spelling errors that you had noticed.

Artwork on Sagan 4 doesn’t need to be perfectly polished, and even Hydromancerx’s more recent art has a few stray lines sometimes. Still, the number of instances and the conspicuousness of the stray lines and color outside the lines in the art here is significant. For the beaks, the lack of cleanup or particular artistic process chosen has even interfered with the clarity of form, which is grounds for rejecting a submission. On a related but less essential note, the lines used on the throat sac make it difficult to tell if it’s supposed to be round and bulging, like a frog’s throat sac, or flattened at the sides, like for an anole lizard.

It is possible there are so many conspicuously uncolored spots because you filled it in by hand, instead of using the paint bucket tool. Try using the paint bucket tool.

Deleting the Larvaback was sensible. I still don’t understand why the Neuks and Undergroundis were removed, but it’s plausible to omit them, at least.

Rustmolds and Chitjorns are still on the list. Please delete them from the list.

Of the 9 feedback points given in my follow-up response, you fixed or attempted to fix to 2. Or, in other words, you did not respond to 78% of it. Even though you noted the existence of spelling errors, the misspelling of “cartilage” wasn’t fixed.

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ May 17 2023, 10:50 PM)

Artwork on Sagan 4 doesn’t need to be perfectly polished, and even Hydromancerx’s more recent art has a few stray lines sometimes. Still, the number of instances and the conspicuousness of the stray lines and color outside the lines in the art here is significant. For the beaks, the lack of cleanup or particular artistic process chosen has even interfered with the clarity of form, which is grounds for rejecting a submission. On a related but less essential note, the lines used on the throat sac make it difficult to tell if it’s supposed to be round and bulging, like a frog’s throat sac, or flattened at the sides, like for an anole lizard. It is possible there are so many conspicuously uncolored spots because you filled it in by hand, instead of using the paint bucket tool. Try using the paint bucket tool. Deleting the Larvaback was sensible. I still don’t understand why the Neuks and Undergroundis were removed, but it’s plausible to omit them, at least. Rustmolds and Chitjorns are still on the list. Please delete them from the list. Of the 9 feedback points given in my follow-up response, you fixed or attempted to fix to 2. Or, in other words, you did not respond to 78% of it. Even though you noted the existence of spelling errors, the misspelling of “cartilage” wasn’t fixed.

Made further edits. I was making them in a different tab, and it hadn’t saved them. My apologies.

This post has been edited by HethrJarrod: May 18 2023, 06:09 AM

Oh!
Okay. Was a bit confused by your art requests.

When I get home from work, I’ll make supplementary art of throat sac and proboscis.

This post has been edited by HethrJarrod: May 18 2023, 06:08 AM