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" Male retain" Males retain.
"Large animals" There is no Animalia kingdom here, so you should use "fauna".

"Driftwood Dasher parent’s" Parents.

The description says it's pink, but it's colored purple. Does it change color over the seasons, like an Arctic hare or ptarmigan?

I notice it eats prey whole. The Hockel's primary defense against predators is: "These spines make it unwieldy to eat, causing them to be lodged in a predator's throat. When faced with predators, it slips into the nearest body of water and stays immobile." The Driftwood Dasher is big enough with a long enough beak it could probably pick them out of shallow water if they hid there, especially if the Driftwood Islands don't have a lot of Twinkiiros (since they're floating islands, they might not grow there). However, what about the spines? It might be hard to remove them by bashing the Hockel into the dirt, since "its long, hockey-stick-shaped spines are attached to a sturdy, thickened apparatus of vertebrae." Is it smart enough to specifically break off the spines or use a thick-trunked tree?


This post has been edited by Coolsteph: Apr 3 2021, 06:55 AM

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Apr 3 2021, 09:50 AM)

" Male retain" Males retain. "Large animals" There is no Animalia kingdom here, so you should use "fauna". "Driftwood Dasher parent’s" Parents. The description says it's pink, but it's colored purple. Does it change color over the seasons, like an Arctic hare or ptarmigan? I notice it eats prey whole. The Hockel's primary defense against predators is: "These spines make it unwieldy to eat, causing them to be lodged in a predator's throat. When faced with predators, it slips into the nearest body of water and stays immobile." The Driftwood Dasher is big enough with a long enough beak it could probably pick them out of shallow water if they hid there, especially if the Driftwood Islands don't have a lot of Twinkiiros (since they're floating islands, they might not grow there). However, what about the spines? It might be hard to remove them by bashing the Hockel into the dirt, since "its long, hockey-stick-shaped spines are attached to a sturdy, thickened apparatus of vertebrae." Is it smart enough to specifically break off the spines or use a thick-trunked tree?

I can fix the two grammar errors.

The coloration originally said purple, but dorite said the flora it lives along side are pink so I said that. Though the more I look at the flora present on the Islands, the more I feel like they should still be purple.

Hmm, I’d feel like they could probably pin down a Hockel like with other species of fauna and then tear out the spines.

Dry grasses here are pink/peach. Dry grasses on Earth are yellow, see how many animals are yellow as a result

QUOTE

Hmm, I’d feel like they could probably pin down a Hockel like with other species of fauna and then tear out the spines.

Certainly, it could pin down and kill a Hockel, but the spines are still "attached to a sturdy, thickened apparatus of vertebrae." I think I was thinking the hero shrew's super-sturdy spine when I wrote that. It probably couldn't rip out the spines like plucking chicken of feathers or yanking off chicken legs. It might be able to break off the tips of the spines by outright smashing it with its feet or bending or twisting it apart with its head and legs, though, but I'm not sure whether it's smart enough to do that or would regularly choke on dead Hockels.

This post has been edited by Coolsteph: Apr 3 2021, 01:16 PM

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Apr 3 2021, 04:15 PM)

QUOTE Hmm, I’d feel like they could probably pin down a Hockel like with other species of fauna and then tear out the spines. Certainly, it could pin down and kill a Hockel, but the spines are still "attached to a sturdy, thickened apparatus of vertebrae." I think I was thinking the hero shrew's super-sturdy spine when I wrote that. It probably couldn't rip out the spines like plucking chicken of feathers or yanking off chicken legs. It might be able to break off the tips of the spines by outright smashing it with its feet or bending or twisting it apart with its head and legs, though, but I'm not sure whether it's smart enough to do that or would regularly choke on dead Hockels.

I imagine they can still snap the spins by pinning them down with their foot and grabbing the spine with its mouth. Probably not cleanly and as such individuals may choke on Hockels with partially broke spines from time to time.

It's interesting how descendants of the Jaydohve seem to have predisposition to become potent predators wherever they make landfall, such as with this, the Terrorbeak, the Velocidohve, and the Sindread. I wonder if their aquatic ancestry, whereupon their ancestors used primarily their legs for swimming, helped build up the musculature within them and thus gave them an advantage over other species when it came to colonizing new landmasses.

QUOTE (OviraptorFan @ Apr 3 2021, 11:29 PM)

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Apr 3 2021, 04:15 PM) QUOTE Hmm, I’d feel like they could probably pin down a Hockel like with other species of fauna and then tear out the spines. Certainly, it could pin down and kill a Hockel, but the spines are still "attached to a sturdy, thickened apparatus of vertebrae." I think I was thinking the hero shrew's super-sturdy spine when I wrote that. It probably couldn't rip out the spines like plucking chicken of feathers or yanking off chicken legs. It might be able to break off the tips of the spines by outright smashing it with its feet or bending or twisting it apart with its head and legs, though, but I'm not sure whether it's smart enough to do that or would regularly choke on dead Hockels. I imagine they can still snap the spins by pinning them down with their foot and grabbing the spine with its mouth. Probably not cleanly and as such individuals may choke on Hockels with partially broke spines from time to time.

Could you note that in the description?

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Apr 4 2021, 09:44 AM)

QUOTE (OviraptorFan @ Apr 3 2021, 11:29 PM) QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Apr 3 2021, 04:15 PM) QUOTE Hmm, I’d feel like they could probably pin down a Hockel like with other species of fauna and then tear out the spines. Certainly, it could pin down and kill a Hockel, but the spines are still "attached to a sturdy, thickened apparatus of vertebrae." I think I was thinking the hero shrew's super-sturdy spine when I wrote that. It probably couldn't rip out the spines like plucking chicken of feathers or yanking off chicken legs. It might be able to break off the tips of the spines by outright smashing it with its feet or bending or twisting it apart with its head and legs, though, but I'm not sure whether it's smart enough to do that or would regularly choke on dead Hockels. I imagine they can still snap the spins by pinning them down with their foot and grabbing the spine with its mouth. Probably not cleanly and as such individuals may choke on Hockels with partially broke spines from time to time. Could you note that in the description?

Yeah, I can do that

QUOTE (OviraptorFan @ Apr 4 2021, 12:47 PM)

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Apr 4 2021, 09:44 AM) QUOTE (OviraptorFan @ Apr 3 2021, 11:29 PM) QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Apr 3 2021, 04:15 PM) QUOTE Hmm, I’d feel like they could probably pin down a Hockel like with other species of fauna and then tear out the spines. Certainly, it could pin down and kill a Hockel, but the spines are still "attached to a sturdy, thickened apparatus of vertebrae." I think I was thinking the hero shrew's super-sturdy spine when I wrote that. It probably couldn't rip out the spines like plucking chicken of feathers or yanking off chicken legs. It might be able to break off the tips of the spines by outright smashing it with its feet or bending or twisting it apart with its head and legs, though, but I'm not sure whether it's smart enough to do that or would regularly choke on dead Hockels. I imagine they can still snap the spins by pinning them down with their foot and grabbing the spine with its mouth. Probably not cleanly and as such individuals may choke on Hockels with partially broke spines from time to time. Could you note that in the description? Yeah, I can do that

It has been done

"grapping" should be "grabbing" or "gripping". "their not" should be "they're not".
Other than that, this looks ready for approval.

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Apr 9 2021, 09:15 AM)

"grapping" should be "grabbing" or "gripping". "their not" should be "they're not". Other than that, this looks ready for approval.

Made the edits!