user posted image

The original color scheme I had for this, based more on the Snowsculptor Janit.

"probfaces" Probefaces.
" became significantly more efficiently" There's am missing word and a missing period here.
"all awhile" All while.
"and leave" and leaves.
"surrounding by" surrounded by.
"and taking over of" You probably meant, "taking over the care of".
They certainly look very alien. It's like a blend of Fil Barlow's Ghostbusters TV series designs and Wayne Barlowe's alien designs. (What a coincidence they have such overlapping tastes in designs and subject matter.)



Thanks for pointing that stuff out. I've made the fixes, as per your suggestions. And ya, this lineage does have a fairly unique design (they're upside-down, for a start).

Edited respiration to reflect the twelve-winged worm ancestry, and added a bit about creating trails (they have chemosensory cells in their legs/feet, going back to the slugworm).

"might they transform" is oddly poetic. It's unusual positioning. I recommend "they might transform".
"search of resourced" Resources.
Since the description is too big, I recommend splitting it into subheadings.

Made the changes, as per your suggestions.

Hey Nergali
I noticed at the top of the submission you have
QUOTE
Swap with OviraptorFan.


I distinct remember you accidentally misinterpreted what I said when I gave criteria on what I was willing to work with for my part of the swap and thus started these bois with those criteria. If I’m not wrong your doing a Press-Toothed Bubbleskin for your swap now? Clarification and all that.

If so, can you please remove that statement at the top of your submission?

This post has been edited by OviraptorFan: Apr 14 2021, 09:22 PM

My bad, fixed it.