Sagan 4 Forum [Menu]

I like how complex the houses are becoming, though those rogue males are certainly quite frightening.

I've added a paragraph going into more detail about why it can't just sharpen a rock

How would they not frequently bleed to death or get infections from their tails and teeth getting sawed off or pulled out...? Unless there's some kind of antibacterial plant or fungus or some other substance, and the rogue males are smart enough to anticipate needing them or applying them as needed, the captured females would probably die and attract scavengers.

"It defecates outside away from its nest and does a good job of removing rotting food to avoid attracting scavengers, so it does not have a symbiotic shailnitor descendant by its side to clean its nest."
But the captive females are tied up. Would rogue males clean up the nest? Are they capable of doing so? I suppose it depends on the texture of Twineshrog feces (never thought I would say that...) and how willing they are to handle it. Now would be a good time to have an "evil shailnitor", wouldn't it?

Using a harness does seem unusual. Is it derived from behavior of setting out concealed twine traps on large prey and then eating their disabled, mutilated prey alive? I'm actually surprised these don't engage in cannibalism.

There are many things that we can assume about shrews in relation to their similarity to mammals, but I have a feeling that moisture content is not one of them. Mammals are unusually wet and bloody and harbors of all kinds of harmful microbes to an unbelievable level compared to birds or reptiles because of their time spent as primarily fossorial animals in a low oxygen period. Shrews never went through an even remotely comparable grade during their evolution; though they spent time as burrowers, it was never to the same degree of specialization as the ancestors of mammals, and those grades existed during a high-oxygen period. Shrews are probably more like early therapsids in every regard except appearance and milk. Unlike a similar-sized mammal, which would have a pretty awful time if its tail got lopped off, shrogs might not gush and bleed to death as readily. Even if they did, losing a tooth isn't fatal in mammals, and beyond the meatier base, losing the tail is only as bad as losing a hand or foot, which mammals can also survive as long as they can reach around to clean the wound.

The thought process for the harness is something more like, tying log to log makes it not move, therefore tying shrog to log also makes it not move. I'm gonna edit that section to clarify that part and make it less like locking your wife in a basement and more like tying a dog to a doghouse, though.

I forgot to mention this earlier.

"--" That should be an emdash.

"In the drier open parts of its range, twineshrogs may defend their nests from wildfires by clearing away flora so that there is nothing in between to burn." That's exceptional foresight. Is it worth specifying it is excellent at observing and applying what it has learned at a delay, or is "orangutan-like intelligence" sufficient?
"a sword on a stick--" that also should be an emdash.
"dig--though" That should also be an emdash.
I've seen using multiple hyphens as a substitute for emdashes, but I think I typically see three hyphens (---), not two, making this use conspicuous.

Two hyphens is what gets converted to an emdash by the wiki. My keyboard, as well as most standard keyboards, does not have an emdash button.

They don't remove the flora ahead of time, they see a fire coming and move to defend their home.

What materials does it use to make the twine? I presume it's purpleflora materials. Does it use stem tissue? Leaf tissue? Fuzzy tissue?

They can also use fibers from black flora and crystal flora, but it is mostly stem tissue. If they can rip up a plant and get something stringy out of it, that's what they use, which usually ends up being bast fiber. I'll make edits to clarify and explain better where the twine-making behavior came from.

It's a deliciously detailed description, and at this point, I think separating it into sections is a good idea. I suggest at least four: "General Behavior", "Tools & Nests", "Hunting Behavior", and "Reproduction", with the latter being easy to split into general reproduction details and "Rogue Males & Harems" details.

I've added section headings.

I've already asked Mni and I know he's gonna review it, but if there's anyone else who has some knowledge of big brains, some input on whether this works as a non-person would be helpful.

EDIT: I might add a bit more clarification under other behavior

I've added a behavioral limitations section, but I might still tweak / add onto it (not currently satisfied but there's a thunderstorm rn and I don't want to lose progress)

The behavioral limitations on their sophont adjacent behaviors are good. Though I'm a bit unsure on how this would work:

QUOTE

rarely a harem female will escape by chewing through the ropes binding her and manage to survive out in the wilderness alone, using crafted tools to replace her lost tail and teeth.

The molars are not usually removed, just the canines, I forgot to clarify. Would switching out teeth for fangs work? Or is there something else I need to explain? MNIDJM

I figure that the particular survival scenario is pretty rare, though. Once every few decades across the entire population. A lot of stuff has to line up, like the specific individual already being innovative enough to figure out how to make do without a tail before starvation sets in. ...Actually, that's probably what you want me to explain, isn't it?

Yeah that last bit is. Elaborate on this being very rare, and how they would have instincts to make tools that would replace body parts.