is this a wildcard... the habitats seem to extend across more than 3 types

QUOTE (colddigger @ Nov 9 2022, 11:01 PM)

I suggest mentioning that the wings are now shaped for active soaring rather than passive soaring like its ancestor. Since you are seeming to aim for that body shape and lifestyle.

Added in. 👍

QUOTE (colddigger @ Nov 9 2022, 07:56 PM)

" Because of its oil rich diet, its feathers can get wet. It is not shy of diving into the water to grab onto a juicy looking Gillfin or other prey." It's feathers get wet because of its oily diet?

corrected to:
"Because of its oil rich diet, its feathers are waterproof."

It's kinda like the Aquatic birds on earth.

QUOTE (colddigger @ Nov 8 2022, 08:52 PM)

is this a WIP? is this not being updated any more?

This one is not a WIP

and its just nobody has pointed out any errors that need fixing.

Elaborated further about the reproduction method.
Fixed art.

QUOTE (Disgustedorite @ Nov 6 2022, 04:19 PM)

Personal aesthetic is not a valid reason to vastly change anatomy. Species should, in general, work with what they have unless they actually have an evolutionary reason not to (which they generally won't). A more realistic evolution for this would be for the reproductive organs to move first for different reasons, then evolve flower mimicry using their convenient placement later. Except it would sorta actually become a flower at that point? You get what I mean. Also, having a hole there interferes with the digestive organs.

I'm ok with it being more like a flower... But I'm also planning on a carnivorous so having the digestive organs there also makes sense.

Gonna have to go into my headspace and draw the internals for this I guess.

SUPPLEMENTAL IMAGE:



Spores are collected into small chambers in the center creating a small raised ring. When an insect steps onto the central depression, this triggers the spores to be released into the air. The Denticle, pokes into the surface of the flora, and is how the Flurroom gets at the nutrients from its host flora.
And in between these two areas is the Flurroom's stomach.

"it moved" moving

"Their long ribbon-like fins "

could be worded better... maybe something like:

Their frontmost and rearmost ribbon-like fins have changed into four short and highly mobile fins to allow the organism to more easily maneuver in its open water home. Meanwhile the other ribbon-like fins have changed into a selection of movement sensitive quills toward the rear of the body, to detect motion through the water, and to deter predators. The tips of the quills are dark and hardened.

The body is divided into two distinct pieces. The rear has a well-defined exoskeleton where the majority of the organs are located. The front section which is mainly mouth, crop, and stomach is supported by flexible but firm semi-external notochord-like structure of both living cells and cuticle. This supporting structure extends all the way to the front of the body where it rings the toothless mouth and provides an anchor point for the muscles that control the front fins, pincers, and eye nubs."

"The eyes" ... they

"On either side of the mouth are very sharp and hard pincers that carry a venomous bite, these weapons are essentially the only means that this organism has for subduing prey." -

Hard pincers on either side of the mouth carry a venomous bite and are essentially the only means for the Quilled Wigglemaw to subdue its prey.

"species is met than the couple up" - "species is met, they"

Fixed the artist depiction

Added more detailed topographic map and a hopefully decent description

Will draw a more detailed topographic map of the two features later today.

Converting that drawing to an artistic representation is not my forte and if possible, just the topo maps if acceptable, would be great.

QUOTE (colddigger @ Nov 3 2022, 12:17 AM)

The first sentence reads somewhat awkwardly for me. Regarding your comparison to the Ferrotine, Could you say something like that, referencing that other species, in the description maybe? As it is, the alone statement does not have much meat to it nor gives much real explanation. The hindering aspect that is, could you elaborate a little.

Edited. Made reference to the Ferrotine in the description.

edited and Added artwork

Name: Hrethr & Hrothr

Topographical Map:


Artist Depiction (Not to Scale):

Location:


On the coast of the Darwin Temperate Desert sit two dormant volcanic islnds, Hrethr (Ray-thor) and Hrother (Row-thor).

Hrethr, the larger of the two, sits right on the coast with the mainland. It is in fact connected to the mainland via a sandbar that only appears at low tide and is normally submerged. This sandbar has allowed organisms that are fast enough to make it across. The peak stretches into the sky at a height of 550 meters. The southeastern wall of the caldera has collapsed due to frequent earthquakes and tremors, allowing water to fill the caldera.

To the northeast sits its sibling, Hrothr. Hrothr is an older and shorter volcano, having eroded further. Its highest point is only 400m from sea level. It is further out from the mainland, meaning that the only organisms present would be the ones that can fly or swim there. Hrothr caldera has also flooded, opening to the ocean towards the northeast. It has become a safe haven where flying organisms nest.

Adjusted the Habitat and Diet to be less like the Flurroom.

I just realized I may have basically reused the same habitats for Flurroom & Flying Ooze.

They seem a bit similar, so I’m going to see about maybe adjusting the Habitats and double checking diet later today.

Might redraw some of the art.
Everything else about it in the description would the same though.

Unless you guys don’t think this change is needed

QUOTE (colddigger @ Oct 28 2022, 10:53 AM)

". Several paired gonads exist along the edges of each leaf. " https://sagan4alpha.miraheze.org/wiki/Brushrums Given they exist along the edges of the leaf one could move them to the base as the leaves become more distinctly separated from each other. But that would need to be mentioned. It also leaves the ring of tissue around that center to be explained. Which can exist, as a separate object. I thought these dropped their spores into the water, it's alright to change their reproductive habit of course.

I don’t want to really change the organism that much. Right now it’s mostly aesthetic and meant to imitate flowers.

QUOTE (Disgustedorite @ Oct 28 2022, 04:47 AM)

Why does it both expel spores and attract pollinators? Also, that's not where the reproductive organs are?

The spores are the “pollen”
Hitching a ride is great, but not necessary

I’ll see if I can draw a supplemental image later

QUOTE (colddigger @ Oct 27 2022, 10:04 PM)

Approval Checklist: Art: Art Present?: y Art clear?: y,despite lines it's pretty clear what is being looked at. Gen number?: y All limbs shown?: y Reasonably Comparable to Ancestor?: y Realistic additions?: visually yes Name: Binomial Taxonomic Name?: y Creator?:y Ancestor: Listed?:y What changes?: External?: larger tentacles, black thing in center, more distinctly separated leaves, tentacles appear more smooth likely due to the protocuticle Internal?: sap sucker attribute to tentacles Behavioral/Mental?: climbing into trees Are Changes Realistic?: yes, the tentacles in the ancestor were consumer-esque, easy to move that to absorbing and tapping into twigs, leaves easily can be separated, and these are already mobile. New Genus Needed?: yes, tentacles now specialize in sap sucking Habitat: BLOCKS SUBPOLAR MANGAL Type?: 3 Flavor?:2 Connected?:y Wildcard?: Size: Same as Ancestor?:y Within range?: Exception?: Support: Same as Ancestor?:y Does It Fit Habitat?:n/a Reasonable changes (if any)?: Other?: Diet: Same as Ancestor?:n Transition Rule?:y Reasonable changes (if any)?:y added parasitism Respiration: Same as Ancestor?:y Does It Fit Habitat?:n/a Reasonable changes (if any)?: Other?: Thermoregulation: Same as Ancestor?:n Does It Fit Habitat?:y Reasonable changes (if any)?:y elaborated Other?: Reproduction: Same as Ancestor?: Does It Fit Habitat?: Reasonable changes (if any)?: Other?: Description: Length?: short Capitalized correctly?: yes? Replace/Split from ancestor?: split Other?: What is that black thing in the center, blocks mangal needs to be renamed to blocks subpolar mangal Opinion: Pending habitat needs to be fixed, what is that black thing anyway

Fixed Habitat (I think it’s due to it just being listed as Blocks Mangal on the map from the wiki)

Elaborated on the center (it’s dark because it’s in shadow). It’s a pit/bowl like thing that emits a sweet smell to attract pollinators.

I would LOVE to see some art depicting both the Fossorundi and Sowverm together... but that's neither here nor there

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Oct 26 2022, 05:12 PM)

Xenobees are not attracted to the smell of blood, although it's possible it might catch a few anyway if it's next to a branch bearing flowers and a Xenobee blunders into it. This can be acknowledged by putting Xenobees last in the diet list and acknowledging the rarity of Xenobee capture in the description.

Went in and really looked at the habitats, what could be found in them and found a few things I think it would eat as well. Adding those, I decided to take out the Xenobees.

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Oct 26 2022, 10:05 AM)

If you intend for the colonial stage to catch prey, you'll need to take note of how it does so. As Disgustedorite pointed out on Page 1, flypaper is baited, and spidewebs are hard to see an the wind passes through it. The flypaper technique would be easiest at this point, since it wouldn't require altering the art. If you intend for the colonial stage to catch prey, you'll need to take note of how it does so. As Disgustedorite pointed out, flypaper is baited, and spidewebs are hard to see an the wind passes through it. The flypaper technique would be easiest at this point, since it wouldn't require altering the art. The bait-scent that should work most effectively on most of its prey would be blood. Dartirs are all-purpose scavengers (though honestly they should be classified as scavenger/detritivore now), and Xenowasps drink nectar and blood. Strictly speaking, if it got translucent as well, that would help it capture prey, but Dartirs and Xenowasps are probably not intelligent enough to often get suspicious about the scent of blood coming from something with a shape very dissimilar to blood-containing fauna.

Edited with a bit more detail on what the hairs do and how the ooze emits the smell of blood to attract prey.

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Oct 25 2022, 05:45 PM)

QUOTE (Disgustedorite @ Oct 25 2022, 03:47 PM) That actually is multicellularity. Organizing and functioning as one organism the way oozes do is multicellularity. @Disgustedorite You used "multicellularity" twice. In any case, should we conclude this submission's cellular status won't be an issue? The habitat type listed include "atmosphere", but none of its habitats are in the atmosphere. It would surely need specialized adaptations to stay in the atmosphere on a regular basis. Short of forming spores, that might be hard to do for something with such a simple body.

Removed Atmosphere from habitat type.

It *does* catch the wind and kinda float like a parachute-like object, but probably not enough to warrant it as the Atmosphere type.

*checks wiki*
Even the Hang-gliding Pinyuk isn't listed as Atmosphere type. So I guess that works.

QUOTE (colddigger @ Oct 25 2022, 03:54 PM)

Are they? I thought they gathered up lots of unrelated cells. I guess if we used the term more loosely then it can apply, I think a lot of people assume it means they originate from a single genome or zygote though.

Edited it for clarification.

"Unlike its ancestor, the Flying Ooze is less of
colony of cells, and more a single organism."

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Oct 25 2022, 01:16 PM)

QUOTE (HethrJarrod @ Oct 25 2022, 07:47 AM) QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Oct 24 2022, 10:59 PM) QUOTE (colddigger @ Oct 24 2022, 09:16 PM) So just removing the coast and it'll be fine? Even if it gets blown out there, there's nothing for it to perform its normal lifestyle on so probably shouldn't count as a habitat. Removing the coast from the habitats is the simplest solution, yes. It's not impossible for it to live in a coastal habitat if it uses Topship Fuzzpalms, but this does greatly complicate the submission. There is also the possibility it could simply yield a specialized Topship Fuzzpalm-dependent descendant later on. There are plenty of coastal trees for it to use. Quhft, Cocobarrage, Obsidibend, Mainland Fuzzpalm, Mangot, Qupe Tree, Bangsticks Branching Qupe Tree, Topship Fuzzpalm I just don't think getting rid of coast would be the best option here. Got rid of Rainforest and Archipelago You seem to have mistaken "Elerd Temperate Coast" with "Elerd Temperate Beach". On second inspection, Carnosprawls and floating Mangrovecrystal forests are also an option, but that does bring up the question of what happens to them if they float away from the trees and land into the water. The simplest solution is to keep them on land, rather than on Mangrovecrystal, Carnosprawl, or Topship Fuzzplams. EDIT: It seems you've already corrected the beach/coast problem.

Decided to make the organism multicellular.
Warranting a taxonomical name change (Kotelimus volans)

And changing the reproductive method to reflect the shift. It reproduces the same way, smaller individuals would occasionally break off from the parent, but that seems more appropriate to be called budding.

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Oct 24 2022, 10:59 PM)

QUOTE (colddigger @ Oct 24 2022, 09:16 PM) So just removing the coast and it'll be fine? Even if it gets blown out there, there's nothing for it to perform its normal lifestyle on so probably shouldn't count as a habitat. Removing the coast from the habitats is the simplest solution, yes. It's not impossible for it to live in a coastal habitat if it uses Topship Fuzzpalms, but this does greatly complicate the submission. There is also the possibility it could simply yield a specialized Topship Fuzzpalm-dependent descendant later on.

There are plenty of coastal trees for it to use.

Quhft, Cocobarrage, Obsidibend, Mainland Fuzzpalm, Mangot, Qupe Tree, Bangsticks
Branching Qupe Tree, Topship Fuzzpalm

I just don't think getting rid of coast would be the best option here.

Got rid of Rainforest and Archipelago