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I'll just mention the fact that "biomass" as a diet is really unspecific and isn't one of the diets that the rules officially support (imagine if every carnivore/herbivore/omnivore/scavenger/detritivore/planktivore simply listed "biomass", that would be unhelpful to say the least).

QUOTE (Cube67 @ Aug 2 2022, 07:23 AM)
I'll just mention the fact that "biomass" as a diet is really unspecific and isn't one of the diets that the rules officially support (imagine if every carnivore/herbivore/omnivore/scavenger/detritivore/planktivore simply listed "biomass", that would be unhelpful to say the least).


Oh I see the mistake now... I was using the Ooze (genus) as an ancestor.
(goes in to fix it)

That is not the issue.

Extensive edit to organism.

The ooze itself should be the main focus of the image.

I don't think this organism's feeding method would actually work. Spiderwebs work because they're hard to see and wind passes through them. This is a solid membrane and I don't think it could take on a web shape in one step.

Fly paper still works though

QUOTE (Disgustedorite @ Aug 30 2022, 03:05 PM)
I don't think this organism's feeding method would actually work. Spiderwebs work because they're hard to see and wind passes through them. This is a solid membrane and I don't think it could take on a web shape in one step.


Fly paper is baited.

I think thin strands of ooze can work, they wouldn't form a spiderweb but an ooze could establish sacrificial strands of cytoplasm that dry into solid strings, very thin, for support and then a coating of living ooze on that. This can be only a few hairs thick and a handful would be enough to catch a flying worm. Especially if the strand is tensioned then broken to wrap around whatever hits it.

A big sheet could work for catching spores and dust, but would need to be more screen like in description.

Applying bait could be an option for the fly paper route. Glistening beads of something, or clumping up some rotten stuff to attract flying detritivore.

This post has been edited by colddigger: Aug 30 2022, 01:12 PM

The Cocobarrage depicted will need to be a darker shade of grey to be accurate. Right now, it looks transparent and glassy.

"Like in the": For a caption explanation, omitting "like" at the beginning is appropriate.

I don't think there's any point in the neologism "Saganflora". After all, it's not like any flora from Mason came to Sagan 4, so there's no point in distinguishing it.

I recommend trimming the images to remove white space, or filling out the edges more with color. Some official images do have a watercolor-esque look, but this looks unfinished. (And I still think the Cliff Bristler image looks unfinished.)

You'll need to get rid of the paragraph break between "Habitat" and "Size". The template should be one continuous block. I've noticed other template-separations in your other submissions, too.

Making the first paragraph just one sentence looks awkward. I recommend merging the sentences below it to the first paragraph.
"It is searching" this feels too immediate. I don't think any Sagan 4 organism description uses this, except perhaps for a brief bit of narrative flavor in the Larlap description.

"Lift itself up slightly. Just enough": These sentnces should be merged.
"net. Hanging" this is a similar run-on sentnce problem. "pseudopod's will separate": Pseudopods. This also needs to be merged with the following sentence. I recommend refreshing your knowledge on sentence flows and run-on sentences. Using a sentence checker on a word processor or Grammarly may also help you.

This is your sixth submission this Generation. Since your submissions tend to require a lot of feedback, I recommend focusing on getting your present five non-rejected submissions approved before starting another submission. The one closest to approval (that is, with the fewest problems) is the Bristlekrugg, so I recommend focusing on any problems with that one first.

An easy way to get used to Sagan4's organism submission style without worrying too much about plausibility issues or acceptability is making a fairly ordinary flora or microbe. An easy way to do this is to select two real plants at random and find a way to plausibly merge their traits together. For example, combining a kale plant with a lemon tree could yield an organism submission that's a tropical species with big, edible leaves and sour fruit. (In case one wonders whether a plant can have edible fruit and leaves: moringa trees have human-edible leaves and young seedpods.)

You could also make a fauna not substantially different from its ancestor. Even my own first two submissions, the Jongfoll and the Biplane Tonboswarmer, didn't do anything particularly weird, or differ all that much from their ancestors.

bump

How are the hairs formed

QUOTE (colddigger @ Sep 23 2022, 09:58 PM)
How are the hairs formed


The hairs are formed from the cellular flagella (I’m pretty sure)

I'm not sure what the plasmoid is here.

"Size: 20cm to 50cm (individual plasmoid); 1-3 meter wide (colonies)"

I would have assumed the colony itself was the plasmoid, with many ooze cells combining into one mass of cytoplasm.

QUOTE (colddigger @ Oct 4 2022, 09:26 PM)
I'm not sure what the plasmoid is here.

"Size: 20cm to 50cm (individual plasmoid); 1-3 meter wide (colonies)"

I would have assumed the colony itself was the plasmoid, with many ooze cells combining into one mass of cytoplasm.



A plasmoid means coherent individual. The smallest group before it becomes just a bunch of cells.



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