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Unless this species really is just pure white, all illustrations need to be in color.

Nimbuses are not white.

These are pure white

QUOTE (Disgustedorite @ Aug 8 2022, 06:11 PM)

Unless this species really is just pure white, all illustrations need to be in color. Nimbuses are not white.

As you were told previously, single species have a single size, not a size range.

The artwork must still have color somewhere, such as the background, to indicate that it is not just uncolored.

I can't really critique this myself, due to insufficient familiarity with the relevant subjects as well as with the submission rules, but I can say that I really like the *concept* behind it. Like, really like it. It's really nifty.

"Bristlekrugg stores additional fat in the back of their bodies for when long drifts do not capture anything to eat." There's a typo. It should be "Bristlekruggs". It's grammatically unclear whether "drifts" as in a noun or "drifts" as in a verb is meant. There's more I could say. I'll have to get back to this later.

The projections resemble the wings of fairyflies, but fairyflies are much smaller. I don't think it could drift along in the wind at that size with bristles so comparatively small.

What about a supplemental picture with much longer bristles?

Went in and hopefully edited it better.

Decided to simply take that part out as a way.
And updated the image with longer bristles

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Aug 9 2022, 12:22 PM)

"Bristlekrugg stores additional fat in the back of their bodies for when long drifts do not capture anything to eat." There's a typo. It should be "Bristlekruggs". It's grammatically unclear whether "drifts" as in a noun or "drifts" as in a verb is meant. There's more I could say. I'll have to get back to this later. The projections resemble the wings of fairyflies, but fairyflies are much smaller. I don't think it could drift along in the wind at that size with bristles so comparatively small.

The scientific name should come immediately after the common name, on the first line of the template.
Remember to look at the template for organism submissions.

Given its broad diet, "filter-feeder" with a range given or just "detritivore" would be more appropriate.

Capitalize "eggs" in the template.

The petite, internal-looking jaws are unusual compared to Minikruggs, and are a bit more like Silkruggs. Nothing's stopping this from evolving twice, but I recommend taking note of it in the description.

Are those seams along its face, like a mantis's? Minikruggs don't have those. You'll have to explain that development, or make them a little fuzzy-looking and say they're stripes.

It seems to have two pairs of limbs rooted to one body segment. I'm not sure how this would work. The quickest solution is re-drawing the upper lines of the third pair so it's rooted to the third body segment, not the second.

The way the original bristles have been blurred suggests they are a distant or out-of-focus background detail, which doesn't make sense. The quickest solution is using the magic wand tool (if it were GIMP; I'm not sure what other image programs' name for it is), making a narrow selection, and carefully using the paint bucket to paint it black. You could also paint it over by hand.

Kruggs have prominent clocas on their last segments. From this angle, it should be visible. You can, of course, make a note in the description it has a protrusible cloaca, although it may be less of an explanatory hassle to just make a little line just below the tip of the final segment.

For something potentially small to begin with, I don't think being on an island would make it less than half its size.
"the split" should be: "Bristlekruggs split".
"white-color" Surely you just mean "white"?

Please trim the picture so most of the background is in color.

There are other things, but I'm taking a break for now.

Edited to fix the things Coolsteph talked about

-fixed scientific name placement
-New image
-filled background
-seperated the legs into individual segments (made it more clear) in image
- added cloaca

-changed diet to simply detrivore

-noted the inward facing jaws in the description
-fixed wording issues in description

This post has been edited by HethrJarrod: Aug 30 2022, 05:18 PM

I think this is great.
This social behavior is unique and pleasant.

Another other comments / suggestions for this?

Edited size to reflect island dwarfism to 13mm

This post has been edited by HethrJarrod: Sep 23 2022, 04:46 AM

I'm back (at least briefly).

"The Bristlekrugg are" (Plural error).
"mandibles, that allow" The comma should be removed.

Clearly, Bristlekruggs are white, so pointing that out in the description does seem superfluous.

I recommend merging the paragraph starting with "These bristles" with the paragraph starting with "The Bristlekrugg".

"behavior; grooming" should be: "behavior: grooming."

"await the young bristlekruggs". You mean, "wait for the young bristlekruggs".

I recommend merging "They will feed[...]" into the same paragraph as "after drifting[...]".

"decent first meal..." The ellipsis should be replaced with a comma.

You'll neeed to fill in that conspicuous white space near the bristle on the rear.

Can you smooth out the black bristles into the grey parts so they blend in better?

That they wait for the bristlekrugg eggs to hatch suggest they develop and hatch very quickly. The wet, warm conditions of the archipelago probably helps this.

I fixed the points you made but was not able to do much in other areas.

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Sep 26 2022, 06:49 PM)

I'm back (at least briefly). "The Bristlekrugg are" (Plural error). "mandibles, that allow" The comma should be removed. Clearly, Bristlekruggs are white, so pointing that out in the description does seem superfluous. I recommend merging the paragraph starting with "These bristles" with the paragraph starting with "The Bristlekrugg". "behavior; grooming" should be: "behavior: grooming." "await the young bristlekruggs". You mean, "wait for the young bristlekruggs". I recommend merging "They will feed[...]" into the same paragraph as "after drifting[...]". "decent first meal..." The ellipsis should be replaced with a comma. You'll neeed to fill in that conspicuous white space near the bristle on the rear. Can you smooth out the black bristles into the grey parts so they blend in better? That they wait for the bristlekrugg eggs to hatch suggest they develop and hatch very quickly. The wet, warm conditions of the archipelago probably helps this.

Approval Checklist:
Art:
Art Present?:y
Art clear?: y
Gen number?:y
All limbs shown?:y
Reasonably Comparable to Ancestor?: y
Realistic additions?:

Name:
Binomial Taxonomic Name?:y
Creator?:y

Ancestor:
Listed?:y
What changes?:
External?: bristles
Internal?:
Behavioral/Mental?: social grooming
Are Changes Realistic?: yes
New Genus Needed?: y, bristles and behavior

Habitat:
Type?: 1
Flavor?: 1
Connected?: y
Wildcard?:

Size:
Same as Ancestor?: n
Within range?: y
Exception?:

Support:
Same as Ancestor?:n
Does It Fit Habitat?:y
Reasonable changes (if any)?:y elaborated
Other?:

Diet:
Same as Ancestor?:n
Transition Rule?:y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: y

Respiration:
Same as Ancestor?:y
Does It Fit Habitat?:
Reasonable changes (if any)?:
Other?:

Thermoregulation:
Same as Ancestor?:n
Does It Fit Habitat?:
Reasonable changes (if any)?:
Other?: LACKS THERMOREGULATION- was added

Reproduction:
Same as Ancestor?:y
Does It Fit Habitat?:y
Reasonable changes (if any)?:
Other?:

Description:
Length?: short, okay
Capitalized correctly?:y
Replace/Split from ancestor?: split
Other?:

Opinion: approved

This post has been edited by colddigger: Oct 18 2022, 12:25 AM