

| QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Aug 17 2022, 07:29 PM) |
| " it's ancestor" Its ancestor. Its quills seem to grow on its lower back and thighs, as well. "anything once.Like it's ancestor" There's a spacing error, and an "it's" confusion. "dig up food or break open rotten logs for food." This repeats "food" twice in the same sentence, which is awkward. "Even xeno-bee" That isn't hyphenated. "much like a polar bear" Did you mean "polar bear's", as in "polar bear's feet"? A spine shape? What is that? "predators such as the Sparkleshrog," There should be a comma after "predators". There's surely more. I'll have to come back later. |
| QUOTE (TheBigDeepCheatsy @ Aug 18 2022, 09:27 PM) |
| I feel like this is different enough from its ancestor to warrant a new genus. |
| QUOTE (OviraptorFan @ Aug 18 2022, 08:51 PM) | ||
Yeah, I have to agree here, could potentially have the genus name reference bearhogs due to vaugely looking them at a casual glance |
| QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Aug 18 2022, 04:40 PM) |
| "it's ancestor" "hollowed out" Hollowed-out. "webbed much like" there should be a comma after "webbed". "their tail", "their plumage", "their territory" Using "their" in the singular is such a common mistake in submissions that I'll have to add that to a common-mistakes guide, if I haven't already. I haven't edited that file in a while. "they are to females" This is mildly confusing, since preceding sentences don't explicitly mention it's the males who display. It could be worth mentioning: after all, in a few species, such as in phalaropes, it's the females that make mating displays and show mating season-related aggression. "roar. But sometimes". I know your descriptions tend to be choppy, but starting a sentence with "but" makes using a comma here particularly recommended. "The Vonnegut Quillmow are" Does "Quillmow" have an unusual plural? (Come to think of it, it might be handy to have an unusual-plural page on the wiki. For example, the Tusovendis, a purpleflora species, also has a nonstandard plural.) The "it's ancestor" error is still there. "one year of age and are fully grown at 2". Why swap out number forms twice in the same sentence? I recommnend using longhand for both for such small numbers. |