Does it have fewer toes now?
"no longer on a floating island" This needs a comma. However, I also recommend it be eliminated entirely if it doesn't relate to the rest of the sentence.
The description says they are "scalemail-like", but the artwork simply suggests shaggy hair. That's what I initially concluded from looking at the image. I'm not sure how it could be like scalemail. Does that mean they're in overlapping rows of short, dense porcupine-like quills? Making the hair-rows shiny to suggest they're like rows of metal spikes could work.
"much to big": Much too big.
"large amount leaves": Large amount of laves.
"server": serves.
"its tail[...]their" This is a pronoun mix-up, as is "like their ancestor[....]it consumes daily".
"gives birth": give birth.
You might be going for a diversifier badge with these Adorned Tamow descendants. You might have one already, given you founded the project and probably made loads of descendants for only one species when there were fewer species to work with.
"Up to 2 year": Up to 2 years.
Grammarly might help you catch basic typos.
"no longer on a floating island" This needs a comma. However, I also recommend it be eliminated entirely if it doesn't relate to the rest of the sentence.
The description says they are "scalemail-like", but the artwork simply suggests shaggy hair. That's what I initially concluded from looking at the image. I'm not sure how it could be like scalemail. Does that mean they're in overlapping rows of short, dense porcupine-like quills? Making the hair-rows shiny to suggest they're like rows of metal spikes could work.
"much to big": Much too big.
"large amount leaves": Large amount of laves.
"server": serves.
"its tail[...]their" This is a pronoun mix-up, as is "like their ancestor[....]it consumes daily".
"gives birth": give birth.
You might be going for a diversifier badge with these Adorned Tamow descendants. You might have one already, given you founded the project and probably made loads of descendants for only one species when there were fewer species to work with.
"Up to 2 year": Up to 2 years.
Grammarly might help you catch basic typos.
Wouldn't this be prey to the Tyrannical Vonnegona, a snoa specifically specialized to hunt big game? How would it defend itself against such a giant carnivore?
| QUOTE (OviraptorFan @ Sep 15 2022, 04:26 PM) |
| Wouldn't this be prey to the Tyrannical Vonnegona, a snoa specifically specialized to hunt big game? How would it defend itself against such a giant carnivore? |
The Tyrannical Corvisnapper lives in ...
Habitat: Lamarck Lowboreal, Lamarck Temperate Woodland, Lamarck Temperate Rainforest, Lamarck Highboreal, Lamarck Rocky, Maineiac Bush, Maineiac Temperate Woodland, Maineiac Volcanic
The Giant Tamow lives in ...
Habitat: Vonnegut Archipelago Temperate Beaches, Vonnegut Temperate Woodland Archipelago, Vonnegut Bush Archipelago
Not even the same archipelago.
| QUOTE (Hydromancerx @ Sep 15 2022, 08:32 PM) | ||
The Tyrannical Corvisnapper lives in ... Habitat: Lamarck Lowboreal, Lamarck Temperate Woodland, Lamarck Temperate Rainforest, Lamarck Highboreal, Lamarck Rocky, Maineiac Bush, Maineiac Temperate Woodland, Maineiac Volcanic The Giant Tamow lives in ... Habitat: Vonnegut Archipelago Temperate Beaches, Vonnegut Temperate Woodland Archipelago, Vonnegut Bush Archipelago Not even the same archipelago. |
Wrong species, I said the Tyrannical Vonnegona
| QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Sep 15 2022, 03:28 PM) |
| Does it have fewer toes now? |
No i don't think so?
| QUOTE (OviraptorFan @ Sep 15 2022, 04:35 PM) | ||||
Wrong species, I said the Tyrannical Vonnegona |
Oops! Well the scalemail-like quills should help protect it. I will add a part to the description.
This post has been edited by Hydromancerx: Sep 15 2022, 04:39 PM
| QUOTE (Hydromancerx @ Sep 15 2022, 08:38 PM) | ||||||
Oops! Well the scalemail-like quills should help protect it. I will add a part to the description. |
Will say the Tyrannical Vonnegona's main strategy is to establish a bite before wrestling the prey to the ground. One the prey is pinned down, it will use their sickle claw to cut open the underbelly to kill the target, so your tamow will need a way to avoid this.
| QUOTE (OviraptorFan @ Sep 15 2022, 04:43 PM) |
Will say the Tyrannical Vonnegona's main strategy is to establish a bite before wrestling the prey to the ground. One the prey is pinned down, it will use their sickle claw to cut open the underbelly to kill the target, so your tamow will need a way to avoid this. |
Ok added. Let me know what you think.
| QUOTE (Hydromancerx @ Sep 15 2022, 08:51 PM) | ||
Ok added. Let me know what you think. |
Alright, that works! Though it should be alert rather than "alter".
This post has been edited by OviraptorFan: Sep 15 2022, 04:57 PM
"full grown": "fully-grown".
"should protect[...]" Do you mean to say that Giant Tamows' armor makes it difficult for Tyrannical Vonnegonas to attack compared to their other prey species, but it does not give Giant Tamows full protection?
"on alter": What do you mean? Is this a stray word?
While the hind right leg does suggest three toes, it's still not obvious. Both horses and ostriches are large animals which have fewer toes than their ancestors, although this could also be a cursorial adaptation. You could probably textually clarify toe number with a brief description of adaptations in its feet and legs for such an immense size.
"should protect[...]" Do you mean to say that Giant Tamows' armor makes it difficult for Tyrannical Vonnegonas to attack compared to their other prey species, but it does not give Giant Tamows full protection?
"on alter": What do you mean? Is this a stray word?
While the hind right leg does suggest three toes, it's still not obvious. Both horses and ostriches are large animals which have fewer toes than their ancestors, although this could also be a cursorial adaptation. You could probably textually clarify toe number with a brief description of adaptations in its feet and legs for such an immense size.
| QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Sep 15 2022, 05:05 PM) |
| "full grown": "fully-grown". "should protect[...]" Do you mean to say that Giant Tamows' armor makes it difficult for Tyrannical Vonnegonas to attack compared to their other prey species, but it does not give Giant Tamows full protection? "on alter": What do you mean? Is this a stray word? While the hind right leg does suggest three toes, it's still not obvious. Both horses and ostriches are large animals which have fewer toes than their ancestors, although this could also be a cursorial adaptation. You could probably textually clarify toe number with a brief description of adaptations in its feet and legs for such an immense size. |
Updated
| QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Sep 15 2022, 09:05 PM) |
| While the hind right leg does suggest three toes, it's still not obvious. Both horses and ostriches are large animals which have fewer toes than their ancestors, although this could also be a cursorial adaptation. You could probably textually clarify toe number with a brief description of adaptations in its feet and legs for such an immense size. |
Honestly it would probably be better to just directly ask dorite how many toes these guys have, since she made the ancestor.
If I may ask, does this feller still have fur or is it completely covered by the scale mail armor?
If it still has fur, maybe the scale mail armor could have its color tweaked to better separate it from the fur?
If it still has fur, maybe the scale mail armor could have its color tweaked to better separate it from the fur?
| QUOTE (TheBigDeepCheatsy @ Sep 15 2022, 07:10 PM) |
| If I may ask, does this feller still have fur or is it completely covered by the scale mail armor? If it still has fur, maybe the scale mail armor could have its color tweaked to better separate it from the fur? |
The outer coat is the quills.
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