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you put "kakonat" as the name in the template

QUOTE (Disgustedorite @ Sep 15 2022, 05:33 PM)

you put "kakonat" as the name in the template

Fixed.

Its fur-like wooly helps

Woolly... Cotton?

helps insulate it from the color

From the cold

and will sneaking into

Sneak into

and feeding from their food

And feed from

Like its ancestor it has It has petrolignin (

Duplication

mating season on the fall.

In the fall




....

There are a few odd placements or lack of commas and periods as well.

That horn on the male looks like it could do some real eye damage

I like the colorful art, its color scheme, and its distinctive face.

It's fine for the color to stray outside the lines for submissions, of course, but this example in particular has many such instances of color outside the lines. It's especially conspicuous on the chest and back, specifically above and to the right of the hips. I recommend reducing the amount of color bleed over the lines.

In the event your particular technique means color bleed-over is likely, I recommend darkening the lineart, such as through the Levels option on GIMP*, using the magic wand tool to select the inside of the lineart, using the paint bucket to fill in the main color, and using a paintbrush to fill in colors afterward.

I figure gray line on the tail indicates a fold or crease of the body, but that shouldn't be visible through such thick pelage.


((*Yes, I know, GIMP is more suitable for photomanipulations. I'm not yet familiar with using other, more suitable programs.)

"it's ancestor": "its ancestor".

"fur-like wooly": "fur-like wool". Howevre, unless "wool" just customarily refers to the pelage of a particular plent lineage now, regardless of its texture, "hair" would be more appropriate. If you wanted to acknowledge the texture change, but still mark it as distinct and conceptually similar, you might be able to say "plent mohair" or "plent cashmere".

There's no need to put "shrogs" in quotes. It seems it's a common term, rather than a casual abbreviation based on naming patterns.
"sneaking into": "sneak into".
"feeding from": "feed from".
"to replace": I suggest "which replaces the material of its fangs, allowing it to cut food and deliver nasty bites."
"designed": This is, in-universe, a natural creature. "and close sideways to cut" is the simplest solution.
"shock while not lethal": "Shock, while not lethal".
"nasty surprise. Giving": "nasty surprise, giving them".
"like most Plents": I don't think "plent" is typically capitalized, even if individual plent species' names are.

"and/or den": "and/or as a den".

Description edits still ought to be made, though the concepts still come across correctly more or less...

Hydro has not been on the forum for a hot second, so I'm not surprised it hasn't happened yet.

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Oct 14 2022, 05:11 PM)

I like the colorful art, its color scheme, and its distinctive face. It's fine for the color to stray outside the lines for submissions, of course, but this example in particular has many such instances of color outside the lines. It's especially conspicuous on the chest and back, specifically above and to the right of the hips. I recommend reducing the amount of color bleed over the lines. In the event your particular technique means color bleed-over is likely, I recommend darkening the lineart, such as through the Levels option on GIMP*, using the magic wand tool to select the inside of the lineart, using the paint bucket to fill in the main color, and using a paintbrush to fill in colors afterward. I figure gray line on the tail indicates a fold or crease of the body, but that shouldn't be visible through such thick pelage. ((*Yes, I know, GIMP is more suitable for photomanipulations. I'm not yet familiar with using other, more suitable programs.) "it's ancestor": "its ancestor". "fur-like wooly": "fur-like wool". Howevre, unless "wool" just customarily refers to the pelage of a particular plent lineage now, regardless of its texture, "hair" would be more appropriate. If you wanted to acknowledge the texture change, but still mark it as distinct and conceptually similar, you might be able to say "plent mohair" or "plent cashmere". There's no need to put "shrogs" in quotes. It seems it's a common term, rather than a casual abbreviation based on naming patterns. "sneaking into": "sneak into". "feeding from": "feed from". "to replace": I suggest "which replaces the material of its fangs, allowing it to cut food and deliver nasty bites." "designed": This is, in-universe, a natural creature. "and close sideways to cut" is the simplest solution. "shock while not lethal": "Shock, while not lethal". "nasty surprise. Giving": "nasty surprise, giving them". "like most Plents": I don't think "plent" is typically capitalized, even if individual plent species' names are. "and/or den": "and/or as a den".

Fixed.

@Coolsteph, is this to your liking now?

KakonatApproval Checklist:
Art:
Art Present?: Y
Art clear?: Y
Gen number?: Y
All limbs shown?: Y
Reasonably Comparable to Ancestor?: Y
Realistic additions?: Y

Name:
Binomial Taxonomic Name?: Y
Creator?: Y

Ancestor:
Listed?: Y
What changes?:

• External?: Coloration, Horned Plate
• Internal?:
• Behavioral/Mental?: Fall breeding season

Are Changes Realistic?: Y
New Genus Needed?: N

Habitat:
Type?: 1
Flavor?: 3
Connected?: Y
Wildcard?: N/A

Size:
Same as Ancestor?: N
Within range?: Y
Exception?: N/A

Support:
Same as Ancestor?: Y
Does It Fit Habitat?: Y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A
Other?: N/A

Diet:
Same as Ancestor?: Y
Transition Rule?: N/A
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A

Respiration:
Same as Ancestor?: Y
Does It Fit Habitat?: Y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A
Other?: N/A

Thermoregulation:
Same as Ancestor?: Y
Does It Fit Habitat?: Y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A
Other?: N/A

Reproduction:
Same as Ancestor?: Y
Does It Fit Habitat?: Y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A
Other?: N/A

Description:
Length?: Alright
Capitalized correctly?: Y
Replace/Split from ancestor?: Split
Other?: N/A

Opinion: Approved