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Scutestar (Isikali esizulayo)
Creator: Future Tyrannosaurus
Ancestor: Hedgestar
Habitat: Nergali-Beans Subtropical Undersea Forest, Nergali Subtropical Beach, Beans Subtropical Beach
Size: 4 cm
Support: Muscular Hydrostat
Diet: Herbivore (Tidal Leafstar, Cobblesaucer), Scavenger
Respiration: Passive Diffusion
Thermoregulation: Ectotherm
Reproduction: Sexual (Male and Female, Eggs)

Splitting from its benthic ancestors, the Scutestar became semi-terrestrial. From a hydrostatic skeleton it evolved a muscular hydrostat to better suit land life. Like a Terran earthworm it lacks a true skeleton, but the muscular hydrostat helps it support itself on land. The muscles are especially concentrated in the legs, further helping it walk on land. When walking on land, the Scutestar moves the center leg forward, then the right and left legs, and finally the anal arm on land. When in the water, it also uses this method of moving. Another major change it went through was the spikes becoming fused with each other. With the fusion of the spikes covering the body, it makes it harder for moisture to leave from the Scutestar’s body. Though looking like a scale, it is still a collection of spikes. The spikes on top remaining unfused provides greater defensive value against predators. With these adaptations, the Scutestar is able to stay on land for a short amount of time, which is around two hours, rarely three hours maximum. It can stay on land longer in moist conditions like rain. However, the maximum time during moist climates is 5 hours. If staying on land during night, it can stay about 4 hours, due to it being cooler and moist compared to the day.

The Scutestar has not changed much in reproductive methods. Like their ancestor, they will mate in the water with any of their own kind, with a 50% chance of reproductive compatibility. They also lay their eggs in water, specifically the Undersea Forest between Beans and Nergali Island. The egg still helps the developing young filter-feed but it has reduced this as it produces larger quantities of egg yolk for the developing young to consume. The egg also has developed a harder shell than the ancestor which wards off predators that might try to eat the egg.

I think you forgot to add a scientific name

QUOTE (Oceansky @ Mar 2 2023, 11:57 PM)

I think you forgot to add a scientific name

You're right, I'm going to come up with one

That image is very blurry. Can you get a clearer one?

QUOTE (Disgustedorite @ Mar 3 2023, 12:15 AM)

That image is very blurry. Can you get a clearer one?

Fixed

Image:
The Scutestar seems to have a beak, instead of an eversible mouth patch with rows of keratinous mouth bristles. It seems you’ve tried to suggest rows with the black stripes along the upper part of the “beak”, but a line going all the way through still makes it look like a beak, particularly with the asymmetrical, beak-like shape. It may be possible for it to have developed a permanently everted beak-like structure: you’ll have to ask Disgustedorite, as Asterzoans have strange physiology.

The central leg looks laterally flattened, like the fin on the belly of some fish species. Adding curved shading or adjusting the lineart at the bottom edges is the easiest solution.

Template:
“Beans Subtropical Beach” is oddly separated in the template.
Generally, sizes are formatted as “* cm”, with a space. It doesn’t really matter for the concept or readability, though.
I believe more than half of the Sagan 4 submission pages on the wiki since I joined in Generation 153 capitalize the reproductive methods. This isn’t particularly important, though.

Description:
It’s hard to articulate why, but “splitting from its benthic ancestors” sounds better. “Split” might have some unsual grammatical use.
“Muscular Hydrostatic” should not be capitalized.
“terran” should be capitalized. You could also replace it with “Earth”, although “Earth earthworm” does sound strange.
“In its legs, further” “in its legs, further”
“Right & left”: “right and left”.
“Became fused to”: “becoming fused with”.
“In order to”: I recommend “fused with each other, which”.
“At max” doesn’t sound grammatically correct. “Max”, as in short for “maximum” sounds better, although, given the generally formal style of Sagan 4, using “maximum” or “at most” is better.
“Much with reproduction”: “much in reproductive methods”.
“Mate any”: “Mate with any individuals”.
“50/50 chance, in the water”: “mate in the water with any of their own kind, with a 50% chance of reproductive compatibility”.
“Nergali island”: “Nergali Island”.
“Filter-feed with”: “Help the developing young filter-feed”. (“Baby” suggests it has hatched, so it’s not in the egg anymore. Using “developing young” avoids the distinction of whether it’s better to use “fetus” or “embryo”.)
“Readily-made egg yolk” How is it “readily-made”? Do you mean “readily-available” or “a larger quantity of”?
“To ward off”: That suggests intention. Try “which wards off”, or, better yet, “which to some extent discourages”.

Since there’s a range of two to three hours on land, it would help to specify what conditions allow it to stay on land longer. It probably relates to moisture.

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Mar 3 2023, 02:16 PM)

Image: The Scutestar seems to have a beak, instead of an eversible mouth patch with rows of keratinous mouth bristles. It seems you’ve tried to suggest rows with the black stripes along the upper part of the “beak”, but a line going all the way through still makes it look like a beak, particularly with the asymmetrical, beak-like shape. It may be possible for it to have developed a permanently everted beak-like structure: you’ll have to ask Disgustedorite, as Asterzoans have strange physiology. The central leg looks laterally flattened, like the fin on the belly of some fish species. Adding curved shading or adjusting the lineart at the bottom edges is the easiest solution. Template: “Beans Subtropical Beach” is oddly separated in the template. Generally, sizes are formatted as “* cm”, with a space. It doesn’t really matter for the concept or readability, though. I believe more than half of the Sagan 4 submission pages on the wiki since I joined in Generation 153 capitalize the reproductive methods. This isn’t particularly important, though. Description: It’s hard to articulate why, but “splitting from its benthic ancestors” sounds better. “Split” might have some unsual grammatical use. “Muscular Hydrostatic” should not be capitalized. “terran” should be capitalized. You could also replace it with “Earth”, although “Earth earthworm” does sound strange. “In its legs, further” “in its legs, further” “Right & left”: “right and left”. “Became fused to”: “becoming fused with”. “In order to”: I recommend “fused with each other, which”. “At max” doesn’t sound grammatically correct. “Max”, as in short for “maximum” sounds better, although, given the generally formal style of Sagan 4, using “maximum” or “at most” is better. “Much with reproduction”: “much in reproductive methods”. “Mate any”: “Mate with any individuals”. “50/50 chance, in the water”: “mate in the water with any of their own kind, with a 50% chance of reproductive compatibility”. “Nergali island”: “Nergali Island”. “Filter-feed with”: “Help the developing young filter-feed”. (“Baby” suggests it has hatched, so it’s not in the egg anymore. Using “developing young” avoids the distinction of whether it’s better to use “fetus” or “embryo”.) “Readily-made egg yolk” How is it “readily-made”? Do you mean “readily-available” or “a larger quantity of”? “To ward off”: That suggests intention. Try “which wards off”, or, better yet, “which to some extent discourages”. Since there’s a range of two to three hours on land, it would help to specify what conditions allow it to stay on land longer. It probably relates to moisture.

Alright, I fixed it, how's it now? Also, I'm afraid I can't redraw that part so I will clairfy that the feet are still flat and no sharp.

It seems you’ve adjusted the art so the mouth looks less like a beak, but there’s still a line suggesting a beak. I see you’ve colored over the original line with a solid color. You’ll get better results by making a custom brush. This is easy. Assuming you’re using GIMP, select a rough circle over the yellow part of the mouth (I suggest the middle, between the two dark blobs) copy it, and then find the copied image in the brush section. Select it and then use the brush over the area. (Technically, GIMP is meant for photo manipulation rather than digital paintings, so there are better programs for this purpose, but I don’t actually know how to accomplish this is other art programs.)

“Eggs” is customarily capitalized in the reproductive methods in the template.

“Concentrated in the legs further”: “legs, further”.
“Looking like a scale”: Though it looks like a scale.
“To defend itself”: One way of rephrasing this is: “as remaining unfused provides greater defensive value against predators”.
“Moist climates”: You mean “moist conditions”.
“Mosit”: Moist. Try making descriptions on a word processor with spell-check.
“Much with”: “much in reproductive methods”. (Technically, I should have recommended: “in its reproductive methods”)
“Compatibility .” There’s a spacing error. It’s minor, but it does look odd.
“Egg still help”: “egg still helps”.

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Mar 4 2023, 06:02 PM)

It seems you’ve adjusted the art so the mouth looks less like a beak, but there’s still a line suggesting a beak. I see you’ve colored over the original line with a solid color. You’ll get better results by making a custom brush. This is easy. Assuming you’re using GIMP, select a rough circle over the yellow part of the mouth (I suggest the middle, between the two dark blobs) copy it, and then find the copied image in the brush section. Select it and then use the brush over the area. (Technically, GIMP is meant for photo manipulation rather than digital paintings, so there are better programs for this purpose, but I don’t actually know how to accomplish this is other art programs.)

Should I just try redrawing it completely? I also fixed the errors you pointed out?

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Mar 4 2023, 06:02 PM)

It seems you’ve adjusted the art so the mouth looks less like a beak, but there’s still a line suggesting a beak. I see you’ve colored over the original line with a solid color. You’ll get better results by making a custom brush. This is easy. Assuming you’re using GIMP, select a rough circle over the yellow part of the mouth (I suggest the middle, between the two dark blobs) copy it, and then find the copied image in the brush section. Select it and then use the brush over the area. (Technically, GIMP is meant for photo manipulation rather than digital paintings, so there are better programs for this purpose, but I don’t actually know how to accomplish this is other art programs

Updated the drawing

Updated the drawing based on several things pointed out that should be fixed

Went over its description, what about it is implausible? It seems perfectly fine to me.

QUOTE (Oceansky @ Apr 20 2023, 07:01 AM)

Went over its description, what about it is implausible? It seems perfectly fine to me.

How would it get out waste?

Through its mouth and anal arm