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Got the genus name.
And fixed the it/they sentence you pointed out.

''When they became much smaller than its ancestor, ''




That's the only one left to switch to they for consistency sake.

After that I think it ought to be approved.

Could slap an average lifespan on that end sentence of the description as well to beef it up just a little.

QUOTE (colddigger @ May 12 2023, 12:36 AM)

''When they became much smaller than its ancestor, '' That's the only one left to switch to they for consistency sake. After that I think it ought to be approved. Could slap an average lifespan on that end sentence of the description as well to beef it up just a little.

Got it. And added lifespan thing as well.

QUOTE (HethrJarrod @ Apr 3 2023, 08:50 PM)

Finding a plentiful source of food in the form of sea shrog detritus which allowed them to spread to many different regions.

This sentence is a bit awkward and seems redundant.

QUOTE (HethrJarrod @ Apr 3 2023, 08:50 PM)

They have not yet been able to spread to subpolar, polar, or montane habitats.  They are not able to keep warm at such a small size in colder temperatures.

I feel these two sentences could be combined, right now they read like two unrelated statements. Something like "They have not yet been able to spread to subpolar, polar, or montane habitats, as they are not able to keep warm at such a small size in colder temperatures." would probably read better.

“The Minidartirs split off from their ancestors the dartirs. Originating from the Driftwood Islands and shrinking down to the size of only a few centimeters, they rapidly spread to other habitats via sea shrog nests. There they found a plentiful source of food in the form of sea shrog detritus. This allowed them to spread to many different regions. Because they are not able to keep warm at such a small size in colder temperatures, they have not yet been able to spread to subpolar, polar, or montane habitats.”

Is this better?

QUOTE (HethrJarrod @ May 12 2023, 11:19 AM)

“The Minidartirs split off from their ancestors the dartirs. Originating from the Driftwood Islands and shrinking down to the size of only a few centimeters, they rapidly spread to other habitats via sea shrog nests. There they found a plentiful source of food in the form of sea shrog detritus. This allowed them to spread to many different regions. Because they are not able to keep warm at such a small size in colder temperatures, they have not yet been able to spread to subpolar, polar, or montane habitats.” Is this better?

Looks good!

This is your second round of feedback from me on this submission. Please convert this to a checklist on a program of your choosing to ensure nothing slips by.

Image:
Feedback Not Responded to:
1. Are those stripes on the wings of the background ones, like a picture-winged fly, or veins? If so, shouldn’t they look more like veins?
2. It would help to depict the others closer to the foreground , to show more detail.
3. The abdomen seems to have gone through huge changes, but it’s hard to say exactly how it’s changed because pf the ambiguous art style. This species doesn’t seem to have cloacal lips, and instead seems to have a pointy tail. This isn’t impossible, but it needs justification.
4. “What is it feeding on? It’s hard to tell if it’s a mound of brown leaves or feces. It looked like a rock at first.” I see you’ve added what appear to be “stick lines” to indicate it’s feces, but, in practice, those look more like seaweed. Comic book stylization interferes with a (loosely) naturalistic look, so I recommend against doing that for official images.I recommend removing the “stink lines”.
5. “The wings have a different structure now, and lack rims/structural veins on the leading edge. (like those on a dragonfly, for lack of a better comparison). Why?” The thick black lines on the front edges of the wings might be rims, but that should be made clearer. I recommend using a very fine (small) brush to erase the middle part of the thick black lines, and then taper it off.

New feedback:
1. Please add more hairs, adjusting the shape of the abdomen if necessary. Right now, the hairs (?) look like tiny, bristly shrimp legs.
2. It seems to be spitting out acid from its hind end as well. This is hard to explain. The easiest solution is getting rid of that.

Template:

New feedback:
1. “Driftwoods” should be “Driftwood Islands”.

Description:

Feedback not responded to:
1. Specifying it’s a disease vector when disease biodiversity is terribly low and vague is an odd preposition.

2. I wonder if they’re even adapted to allow “slurping” (or sucking, to whatever degree it’s different).

3. Does it even make sense for it to lose a stomach specifically because of its smaller size? That’s a drastic development.

4. It seems the horn of its ancestor turned into a beak-like proboscis, which is pretty extreme, even given the potentially rapid pace of extreme R-strategists like Dartirs. How did this happen? What were the intermediate steps?

disease vector:

Just mention disease, such as pestilences

that will solve that

sucking ability:

https://sagan4alpha.miraheze.org/wiki/Flying_Preying_Worm


sucking was developed in this ancestor.




lack of stomach:

if they are just absorbing simple nutrients from this debris diet and discarding the rest through their own digestive system then a stomach for breaking down more complex structures is not needed, it is not maximizing their nutrient potential but if they're tiny and there's lots of food available no need to waste time on that. Caterpillars are an example of this.

I would toss this up as trading the ability to absorb as much nutrients as possible for living as fast as possible.



horn into proboscis:

this seems ambiguous. Is it stated in the description and I am missing it?
I suggest explicitly stating that the horn is not now a proboscis if it is not meant to be. To be most consistent with the lineage it shouldn't be.

1. Pestilences are mentioned, and even how the minidartir spreads them.
2. Sucking :thumbsup:
3. The horn is specifically mentioned and no mention of it being used as a proboscis.

The pose it is in is supposed to emulate its ancestor, the Dartir
https://sagan4alpha.miraheze.org/wiki/Dartir

Something that does come up, is the life cycle of this. It was my understanding that wingworms do not have larvae nor a pupa stage.

That, upon hatching from their egg, they were essentially miniature adults including the ability to fly.

Is this lineage different? I have not thoroughly scoured each of its ancestors yet.

Looking through the Dartir lineage, it seems none of the ancestors had visible cloacal lips nor were they mentioned in the description up until the Dartirs genus group, which seems to have included them. Was there some misinterpretation going on? Did I miss something?

I also adjusted the life cycle slightly and lined it up with the adult stage having no stomach… like eels.