Even if this were to be allowed, it also has other issues with how it behaves. Shrogs are not primates; they don't fight in wars and they don't form tribes. The twigfisher shrog in particular does not hunt large game. If it were to make the jump to sophonce as it is, it would most likely live in widely spaced family groups, more like modern rural homes than a village, and domesticate insect analogs such as gundis and minikruggs for food. It would also most likely not wear clothes, as clothing is modified from self-decoration animal behavior and also ties in with modesty (something shrogs don't have to worry about, as their external reproductive organs are naturally well-hidden when not in use).
Rudi10001 I'm sorry but I'm going to have to reject this idea. It violates a number of project rules we have, including our strict restrictions on sapient creatures. Please read our Submission Rules thread before making another attempt.
I’m very sorry to be a bit impatient here, but does the cryobowler srugeing have any other issues?
Rudi10001, that concept needs a major overhaul. It's not out of the question it could have nest symbiotes that co-evolved with it, as one species of tarantula has a "pet" frog and screech owls keep blind snakes in the nest as pest control. However, your description suggests deliberate breeding, which is hard to place within its chimpanzee-beaver like level of intelligence. The closest behavior to wearing clothes within its limitations is disguising its scent as it hunts by rubbing the shed skin of other fauna on its own, which is similar to the behavior of California ground squirrels using snake skins. Other problems have been pointed out by Disgustedorite.
Although Sagan 4 has loose art standards, the art also needs improvement. The right arm, which is holding a miniature spear, is too small. Its legs also look rather scrawny and insect-like.
Flora and simple organisms are often easier to design in a pleasant and accurate way for beginning artists. It may help you to design a flora or simple organism, perhaps a Keryh, for your first submission.
Remember to use the submission template for your next attempt.
Oofle, the user-posted image is broken. Without the image, I cannot provide complete feedback. From what I recall of the image, the line separating the tail fins from each other makes the fin shape unclear. You said you would be fixing some of its issues. Would you like to re-submit your corrected version, or edit your original submission?
Although Sagan 4 has loose art standards, the art also needs improvement. The right arm, which is holding a miniature spear, is too small. Its legs also look rather scrawny and insect-like.
Flora and simple organisms are often easier to design in a pleasant and accurate way for beginning artists. It may help you to design a flora or simple organism, perhaps a Keryh, for your first submission.
Remember to use the submission template for your next attempt.
Oofle, the user-posted image is broken. Without the image, I cannot provide complete feedback. From what I recall of the image, the line separating the tail fins from each other makes the fin shape unclear. You said you would be fixing some of its issues. Would you like to re-submit your corrected version, or edit your original submission?
The image appears fixed on my end currently, I had intended to edit and indeed this is what occurred with the previously brought up items of discussion, is the image still broken on your end? I did notice it a bit messed up earlier but now it is back.
Yes, the image is still broken on my end. What is your image host? I use Imgur.
| QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Jun 29 2021, 01:35 AM) |
| Yes, the image is still broken on my end. What is your image host? I use Imgur. |
I myself use discord. Since I don't use Imgur at all.
To be entirely honest, I took the image link from discord to place it into the thing!
I’ve tried replacing the image now, so let’s see if this works.
I’ve tried replacing the image now, so let’s see if this works.
| QUOTE (Oofle @ Jun 29 2021, 03:07 AM) |
| To be entirely honest, I took the image link from discord to place it into the thing! I’ve tried replacing the image now, so let’s see if this works. |
Alright, I see the image
I saw the ping....or tag, whatever its name is. I get automatic alerts for that.
There's a faded-out, dotted line on its lower tail fin, which should be filled in. I suggest drawing a gap between the two tail fins, to make it clearer they are two distinct fins, and not one fin pinched in two. As it is, it's not really shaped like a fin. It looks more like a snake's tail. Removing the azure coloration from the underside of the lower tailfin may help in making it look more like a tialfin.
The Srugeing has dorsal fins and two fins on its abdomen. This descendant has no trace of those, with no explanation or mention of the loss.
You should split the description apart into paragraphs. As it is, there's separated by only one tap of the enter key.
"it is during" This should be: "and it is during".
"Like as going" what does this grammar construction mean? Did you mean: "such as"?
"the shrinking of the upper tail fin" should be: "the upper tail fin shrinking".
I'm not sure whether being highly focused on mating can be described as "near-suicidal". Animals don't often seek their deaths on purpose. Admittedly, antechinus reproduction has been described as "suicidal reproduction", but it seems that phrasing is more of a catchy title for a paper or a popular science publication than the usual phrasing. I recommend "focus single-mindedly on mating".
"Large distances": I have a feeling this should be "long distances".
"Yet, by Saturday". For some countries, the week begins on Monday, not Sunday. Monday to Saturday is six days, while Sunday to Saturday is seven days. Therefore, it's best to mention what day of the week the mating event hypothetically starts.
"their lung" That suggests they have one lung shared between them, like the Graeae or Grey Sisters have one eye shared between them. I recommend "their lungs", or "Though a Cryobowler Srugeing's lung".
It's necessary to capitalize the items in the diet.
There's a faded-out, dotted line on its lower tail fin, which should be filled in. I suggest drawing a gap between the two tail fins, to make it clearer they are two distinct fins, and not one fin pinched in two. As it is, it's not really shaped like a fin. It looks more like a snake's tail. Removing the azure coloration from the underside of the lower tailfin may help in making it look more like a tialfin.
The Srugeing has dorsal fins and two fins on its abdomen. This descendant has no trace of those, with no explanation or mention of the loss.
You should split the description apart into paragraphs. As it is, there's separated by only one tap of the enter key.
"it is during" This should be: "and it is during".
"Like as going" what does this grammar construction mean? Did you mean: "such as"?
"the shrinking of the upper tail fin" should be: "the upper tail fin shrinking".
I'm not sure whether being highly focused on mating can be described as "near-suicidal". Animals don't often seek their deaths on purpose. Admittedly, antechinus reproduction has been described as "suicidal reproduction", but it seems that phrasing is more of a catchy title for a paper or a popular science publication than the usual phrasing. I recommend "focus single-mindedly on mating".
"Large distances": I have a feeling this should be "long distances".
"Yet, by Saturday". For some countries, the week begins on Monday, not Sunday. Monday to Saturday is six days, while Sunday to Saturday is seven days. Therefore, it's best to mention what day of the week the mating event hypothetically starts.
"their lung" That suggests they have one lung shared between them, like the Graeae or Grey Sisters have one eye shared between them. I recommend "their lungs", or "Though a Cryobowler Srugeing's lung".
It's necessary to capitalize the items in the diet.
I fixed the missing fins and grammar mentioned, but I added some items to the description and diet as well, namely the inclusion of “kleptoparasite (prey caught by carnivorous cryobowls)” to the diet list and changing which fins shrink (as in, just the inclusion of more of the fins.)
Please capitalize the name of your submission, its habitats, and its ancestor. The extra spaces in the upper part of the template, which separate the lines, should be removed, as is customary. It would help to make a submission formatting checklist, and go down the checklist to ensure you don't miss anything.
Some members capitalize organism names, and others do not. What's important is that the naming scheme stays consistent within the submission itself. As it is, "Cryobowler srugeing" is not a correct formatting: "srugeing" should be capitalized if "Cryobowler" is capitalized.
The periods in the diet should be replaced by commas.
"cryobowl, this" The comma should be a period.
"well. Such" The grammar needs to be cleaned up. I suggest replacing "such" with: "more specifically, they go through a small growth spurt, the upper, dorsal and abdominal fins atrophy while the lower tailfin lengthens (for aerodynamics) and the gonads mature."
It should help to enter your submission into text processors and run-on sentence detectors online, and to speak your submission out loud. Speaking it out loud will help point out comma errors.
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