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"their head" That should be "their heads" or "its head", for more precision.

"not cause drag" Not causing drag.

"Driftwood Dasher youngsters" Unless "youngsters" is the scientific name for that species, I suggest "young" or "juveniles".

"decent cursing speed" I don't think they are capable of profanity. I think you meant :"cruising speed".

"use their tails quick bursts" Use their tails for quick bursts.

"hunting ground," Hunting grounds.

"adorned tamow" Unless this is a mass noun, a la "deer", "sheep", "elk", or to some extent "fish", you mean "adorned tamows".

Since these not only use tools but create tools through shell shards, and seem to anticipate needing those tools later, it's worth specifying their limitations and that they aren't sapient.

" late Spring." Why is "spring" capitalized?

I hope these don't get confused with the Shrogre.

"kill and each" should be "kill and eat".
"semi aquatic" should be "semi-aquatic".

"Pregnant females, however, will instead stay on the driftwood islands they bred on and begin to make a rudimentary den."

Do the females all raise their pups collectively on the driftwood islands? Or does this mean females collectively, but separately, raise their young there?

Preemptively gonna note, since OviFan has stated he doesn't know much about intelligence, if it were me I'd make a comparison to corvids, which similarly craft tools (and, like shrogs, arrived at tool use from instinctive nest building)

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ May 13 2021, 10:09 AM)

"their head" That should be "their heads" or "its head", for more precision. "not cause drag" Not causing drag. "Driftwood Dasher youngsters" Unless "youngsters" is the scientific name for that species, I suggest "young" or "juveniles". "decent cursing speed" I don't think they are capable of profanity. I think you meant :"cruising speed". "use their tails quick bursts" Use their tails for quick bursts. "hunting ground," Hunting grounds. "adorned tamow" Unless this is a mass noun, a la "deer", "sheep", "elk", or to some extent "fish", you mean "adorned tamows". Since these not only use tools but create tools through shell shards, and seem to anticipate needing those tools later, it's worth specifying their limitations and that they aren't sapient. " late Spring." Why is "spring" capitalized? I hope these don't get confused with the Shrogre. "kill and each" should be "kill and eat". "semi aquatic" should be "semi-aquatic". "Pregnant females, however, will instead stay on the driftwood islands they bred on and begin to make a rudimentary den." Do the females all raise their pups collectively on the driftwood islands? Or does this mean females collectively, but separately, raise their young there?

Made the grammar edits you suggested.

How should I add in the non-sapient statement?

Females rear the young on their own, and when they are pregnant, they will try to force other pregnant female Shroggers to go somewhere else. This is because there is only so much food for a female shrogger and her offspring that needs to last them a year and a half.

You could mention that they manufacture tools as chimpanzees and elephant can do.

If you want to make them seem less intelligent, you could say that shell shards were originally used to capture small, live prey and/or impale, disembowel, or stun them, as a modification of spear-using behavior, and adapting it to butcher fauna that are already dead is derived from impaling/disemboweling instincts.
If you want to make it seem more intelligent, you could say one hungry population encountered large, dead, spiky fauna multiple times on roj shell "middens", didn't have spears with them (it's unclear if this species still uses spears), and picked up whatever pointy tool was around, in this case roj shells, to "attack" the corpse. Finding that successful in this unusual circumstance, it became a cultural element that become widespread in the species, like a population of Japanese snow macaques that washed their sweet potatoes in water to remove any sand or dirt on it, and then later turned to washing them in seawater due to liking the salty taste.

Approval Checklist:
Art:
Art Present?: Y
Art clear?: Y
Gen number?: Y
All limbs shown?: Y
Reasonably Comparable to Ancestor?: Y
Realistic additions?: Y

Name:
Binomial Taxonomic Name?: Y
Creator?: Y

Ancestor:
Listed?: Y
What changes?:

• External?: Head spines, Webbing, Tail
• Internal?:
• Behavioral/Mental?: Hunting strategies,

Are Changes Realistic?: Y
New Genus Needed?: Y (Done)

Habitat:
Type?: 2/2
Flavor?: 3/3
Connected?: Y
Wildcard?: N/A

Size:
Same as Ancestor?: N
Within range?: Y (2 m -> 2.5 m)
Exception?: N/A

Support:
Same as Ancestor?: Y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A
Other?: N/A

Diet:
Same as Ancestor?: N
Transition Rule?: Y (Carnivore -> Carnivore, Scavenger)
Reasonable changes (if any)?: Y

Respiration:
Same as Ancestor?: Y
Does It Fit Habitat?: Y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A
Other?: N/A

Thermoregulation:
Same as Ancestor?: Y
Does It Fit Habitat?: Y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A
Other?: N/A

Reproduction:
Same as Ancestor?: Y
Does It Fit Habitat?: Y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A
Other?: N/A

Description:
Length?: Good
Capitalized correctly?: Y
Replace/Split from ancestor?: Y
Other?: N/A

Status: Approved

MNIDJM OviFan has expressed that he is still working on this, and there are still potentially some outstanding issues.

QUOTE (Disgustedorite @ Jun 1 2021, 03:06 AM)

MNIDJM OviFan has expressed that he is still working on this, and there are still potentially some outstanding issues.

If that's the case I'll desubmit it

OviraptorFan If you are not finished with a submission, make sure to leave WIP somewhere in the title

Okay so, I asked dorite(who is a shrog expert) about if I needed to clarify that the shrogger is not sapient due to the usage of roj shells, and she said this.

"tbh I don't think the shrogger's behavior falls under the category of stuff that needs that clarification
and most species don't really clarify where behaviors come from if it's mostly in line with what they can already do"

So no, I don't think I need to make the changes to clarify it's not sapient, since tool usage is already common place in its lineage.

Then I'll re-accept it