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Here's a first pass of any errors.

"in vivus, bubbleskins": "Vivus" needs to be capitalized.

"it avoids competition[...]they consume" the referent pronouns are confused in one sentence.

"to help avoid" would be better as, "which helps them avoid".

"move faster while" The sentence sounds breathless. I recommend adding a comma after "faster".


"In case they can't escape danger" That suggests they evolved this trait on purpose. I recommend, "The Indigallop has also, however, developed additional defenses that aid it when running away doesn't work".
"fleein" That is a typo.

"so they can" is a goal-based phrasing.
"so they can be smacked into" is goal-based phrasing.

"from the get-go" sounds a little too informal. I recommend, "from the beginning".

"time, though" I recommend splitting the part about typical litter sizes and twins to avoid a breathless, lengthy sentence.

"one-another" should be "one another".

"generalistic diet;" The semicolon should be a comma.

"until they eventually die out" should be "until they eventually died out".


---


Though it still gets energy from photosynthesis, "photosynthesis" is not mentioned in its diet.

Vivus Alpine, as an alpine environment, would probably require notable, specialized adaptations to deal with the cold, UV light, and low oxygen. Now, plents breathe carbon dioxide, but it's possible they still need some oxygen. Even regular Earth plants need oxygen, especially at night.
You may be able to deal vaguely with some of this by saying its photosynthesis produces extra oxygen it can use later, if it does need substantial oxygen. Making its butt-nostril have a wrinkly interior like the cloacas of some turtles might improve its ability to take up oxygen/carbon dioxide from thin air, though that may not be enough for something its size.

Altering the properties of its blood could also work, although plent blood hasn't been dealt with definitely. (https://sagan4.jcink.net/index.php?showtopic=52&st=0&#entry1072)

However, it's still a huge, uncovered, lean, long-legged endotherm up in an alpine environment. Even if bringing up giganotothermy, its forelegs and frills might still freeze. You could specify it occurs in that biome only during summer, only rarely and only during summer, or say that alpine populations are fattier. (Although that last part might go up against the subspecies rule...which has been weakened substantially)

Alpine adaptations:
http://kids.nceas.ucsb.edu/biomes/alpine.html

Plents breathing carbon dioxide is actually a science error. They depend primarily on oxygen and can convert some of the co2 they produce back into oxygen.

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Sep 30 2021, 04:53 PM)

Here's a first pass of any errors. "in vivus, bubbleskins": "Vivus" needs to be capitalized. "it avoids competition[...]they consume" the referent pronouns are confused in one sentence. "to help avoid" would be better as, "which helps them avoid". "move faster while" The sentence sounds breathless. I recommend adding a comma after "faster". "In case they can't escape danger" That suggests they evolved this trait on purpose. I recommend, "The Indigallop has also, however, developed additional defenses that aid it when running away doesn't work". "fleein" That is a typo. "so they can" is a goal-based phrasing. "so they can be smacked into" is goal-based phrasing. "from the get-go" sounds a little too informal. I recommend, "from the beginning". "time, though" I recommend splitting the part about typical litter sizes and twins to avoid a breathless, lengthy sentence. "one-another" should be "one another". "generalistic diet;" The semicolon should be a comma. "until they eventually die out" should be "until they eventually died out". --- Though it still gets energy from photosynthesis, "photosynthesis" is not mentioned in its diet. Vivus Alpine, as an alpine environment, would probably require notable, specialized adaptations to deal with the cold, UV light, and low oxygen. Now, plents breathe carbon dioxide, but it's possible they still need some oxygen. Even regular Earth plants need oxygen, especially at night. You may be able to deal vaguely with some of this by saying its photosynthesis produces extra oxygen it can use later, if it does need substantial oxygen. Making its butt-nostril have a wrinkly interior like the cloacas of some turtles might improve its ability to take up oxygen/carbon dioxide from thin air, though that may not be enough for something its size. Altering the properties of its blood could also work, although plent blood hasn't been dealt with definitely. (https://sagan4.jcink.net/index.php?showtopic=52&st=0&#entry1072) However, it's still a huge, uncovered, lean, long-legged endotherm up in an alpine environment. Even if bringing up giganotothermy, its forelegs and frills might still freeze. You could specify it occurs in that biome only during summer, only rarely and only during summer, or say that alpine populations are fattier. (Although that last part might go up against the subspecies rule...which has been weakened substantially) Alpine adaptations: http://kids.nceas.ucsb.edu/biomes/alpine.html

Fixed the typos.

So I should have Vivus Alpine as Vivus Alpine (summer resident)? I would also mention that they go up there to take advantage of the abundant growth of Crystal Swordgrass(since not much else grow up there and the only non-genus group critter up there aside from them is the Pikashrew).

I agree. It would be good to specify it lives only in Vivus Alpine in the summer, along with its diet details, if you would like.
I also recommend splitting the description into at least two sections. One could be "Growth & Reproduction".

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Oct 1 2021, 12:33 AM)

I agree. It would be good to specify it lives only in Vivus Alpine in the summer, along with its diet details, if you would like. I also recommend splitting the description into at least two sections. One could be "Growth & Reproduction".

Alright, I made the summer edit, though I don't think im going to have it split into two sections.

QUOTE (Disgustedorite @ Sep 30 2021, 12:57 PM)

Plents breathing carbon dioxide is actually a science error. They depend primarily on oxygen and can convert some of the co2 they produce back into oxygen.

This is something I've been wondering about, they would actually be cracking water for oxygen, while the CO2 would be processed in the light independent process of photosynthesis, or exhaled.

Given the greater production of CO2 in a plent I wonder if a CAM photosynthesis convergence would be common just for carbon storage.





Also, is the individual depicted a male? The description says makes have color on their frill, maybe a little more reference to color to really drive home it's the male in the image, and that females look the same minus the marking.

Being that suggestion this has my personal approval.
Dunno if it works like that.

QUOTE (colddigger @ Oct 19 2021, 04:00 AM)

QUOTE (Disgustedorite @ Sep 30 2021, 12:57 PM) Plents breathing carbon dioxide is actually a science error. They depend primarily on oxygen and can convert some of the co2 they produce back into oxygen. This is something I've been wondering about, they would actually be cracking water for oxygen, while the CO2 would be processed in the light independent process of photosynthesis, or exhaled. Given the greater production of CO2 in a plent I wonder if a CAM photosynthesis convergence would be common just for carbon storage. Also, is the individual depicted a male? The description says makes have color on their frill, maybe a little more reference to color to really drive home it's the male in the image, and that females look the same minus the marking. Being that suggestion this has my personal approval. Dunno if it works like that.

Regarding the individual, yes it is a male. Unless I specifically show both sexes, you can safely assume any Verdanidermid species I submit is a male.

Ah I see, there are spike related distinctions as well.

Approval Checklist:
Art:
Art Present?: Y
Art clear?: Y
Gen number?: Y
All limbs shown?: Y
Reasonably Comparable to Ancestor?: Y
Realistic additions?: Y

Name:
Binomial Taxonomic Name?: Y
Creator?: Y

Ancestor:
Listed?: Y
What changes?:

• External?: Smaller, cursorial adaptations, leg spur, larger and extra cheek spikes in males
• Internal?: Fewer young at a time
• Behavioral/Mental?: Polygamy

Are Changes Realistic?: Y
New Genus Needed?: I don't believe so, but it's in a new genus anyway so I guess?

Habitat:
Type?: 2/2 (Temperate (the volcanic) and Montane)
Flavor?: 3/3 (Grassland, Scrubland, Woodland)
Connected?: Y
Wildcard?: N/A

Size:
Same as Ancestor?: N (smaller)
Within range?: Y
Exception?: N/A

Support:
Same as Ancestor?: Probably
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A
Other?: N/A

Diet:
Same as Ancestor?: Y (but broader)
Transition Rule?: N/A
Reasonable changes (if any)?: Y, Broader

Respiration:
Same as Ancestor?: Y
Does It Fit Habitat?: Y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A
Other?: N/A

Thermoregulation:
Same as Ancestor?: Y
Does It Fit Habitat?: Y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A
Other?: N/A

Reproduction:
Same as Ancestor?: Y
Does It Fit Habitat?: Y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A
Other?: N/A

Description:
Length?: Good
Capitalized correctly?:Y
Replace/Split from ancestor?: Replace locally
Other?: N/A

Status: Approved