Sagan 4 Forum [Menu]

@Coolsteph I know you usually skip over wips, but OviFan doesn't want you to skip this one.

I don't see any reason why Cryorashers would be justified in having just one toe on each foot. I was able to use the horse excuse for Duramceris and Duramboars, but that won't work here. Giving it two toes on each foot would be easier for me to draw once I correct its ancestors' art, but I can't justify it losing even a single toe. Small rodent-frog things would likely have multiple toes, anyway.

Other than Cryorashers not having color-changing signalling patches, I have no input on its coloration.

P.S. You meant "ecothterm in a tundra environment". Being an endotherm would be a good thing for it.

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Oct 2 2021, 06:34 PM)

I don't see any reason why Cryorashers would be justified in having just one toe on each foot. I was able to use the horse excuse for Duramceris and Duramboars, but that won't work here. Giving it two toes on each foot would be easier for me to draw once I correct its ancestors' art, but I can't justify it losing even a single toe. Small rodent-frog things would likely have multiple toes, anyway. Other than Cryorashers not having color-changing signalling patches, I have no input on its coloration. P.S. You meant "ecothterm in a tundra environment". Being an endotherm would be a good thing for it.

So It should have 3 front toes and 2 hind toes in a similar fashion to related groups of tilebacks?

Also I fixed the endotherm bit, so thanks for pointing that out.

Since it doesn't seem as if Solpimr will ever respond...yes. Three front toes and two hind toes.

I'll go over the rest of it once it's finished.

Alright, the image has been completed! How does the who organism look?

This post has been edited by OviraptorFan: Oct 2 2021, 07:28 PM

There are some grammar problems.

"the krotezuruck will lower their metabolism" "When the krotezuruck does emerge from its burrow in the spring, they begin feeding[...]" " The krotezuruck can also use their" "the krotezuruck retains their eggs " This is using both a representative singular and an unclear use of they. Consider the following:

"When the lion wakes up from its nap, they seek out antelope to hunt". That does not make sense, compared to: "When lions wake up from their naps, they seek out antelope to hunt" or "When the lion wakes up from its nap, it seeks out antelope to hunt".

It nourishes its young with "bacon goo" internally during their embryonic development, right? The description here makes it unclear whether it's post-birth or pre-birth nourishing. The ancestor description makes it clear, so just saying it "internally nourishes embryonic young" would be sufficient.

"[...]though sometimes individuals can live as much as two though this is rare." This sentence is too long and breathless.

It seems to have armor on its head. Is that thickned skin? Osteoderms?

Are the osteoderms connected to other bones or muscles?

I like the art and pose.

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Oct 5 2021, 02:09 PM)

There are some grammar problems. "the krotezuruck will lower their metabolism" "When the krotezuruck does emerge from its burrow in the spring, they begin feeding[...]" " The krotezuruck can also use their" "the krotezuruck retains their eggs " This is using both a representative singular and an unclear use of they. Consider the following: "When the lion wakes up from its nap, they seek out antelope to hunt". That does not make sense, compared to: "When lions wake up from their naps, they seek out antelope to hunt" or "When the lion wakes up from its nap, it seeks out antelope to hunt". It nourishes its young with "bacon goo" internally during their embryonic development, right? The description here makes it unclear whether it's post-birth or pre-birth nourishing. The ancestor description makes it clear, so just saying it "internally nourishes embryonic young" would be sufficient. "[...]though sometimes individuals can live as much as two though this is rare." This sentence is too long and breathless. It seems to have armor on its head. Is that thickned skin? Osteoderms? Are the osteoderms connected to other bones or muscles? I like the art and pose.

Alright, made from grammatical edits and tried to address the "bacon goo" with more clarity. Does this look better?

The armor on their heads are also osteoderms, yet again derived from the "thorns" of their ancestor.

The osteoderms do not commit a Spicomellus moment by being fused with bones, I would instead say most(if not all) osteoderms are attached to the muscles instead except possibly the ones on the head. I may not understand how these work though so do give your critiques and any suggestions on how these osteoderms may be attached..

This post has been edited by OviraptorFan: Oct 5 2021, 12:31 PM

"meant krotezurucks" That uses the past tense, which doesn't make sense here. They aren't extinct at time of writing.

Does this replace its ancestor?

I'm actually not sure how the thorns of thornbacks work, in relation to muscle, bone, and ligament attachment.

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Oct 5 2021, 07:23 PM)

"meant krotezurucks" That uses the past tense, which doesn't make sense here. They aren't extinct at time of writing. Does this replace its ancestor? I'm actually not sure how the thorns of thornbacks work, in relation to muscle, bone, and ligament attachment.

Fixed the past tense bit.

No it does not, the species is mentioned to have split off from their ancestor(in case someone wants to make their own descendant of the Cryorasher).

In that case....do I need to change anything regarding the osteoderms?...

@OviraptorFan, what's the name origin behind "Krotezuruck"?

QUOTE (TheBigDeepCheatsy @ Oct 5 2021, 10:20 PM)

@OviraptorFan, what's the name origin behind "Krotezuruck"?

I'm sorry, but I do not remember....

One small clarification: in its ancestor, it's said "The bacon goo is grown from the walls of the enlarged oviduct,". The salt pouches were used as a storage area for the sodium specifically: "The sodium of the bacon goo is sequestered in small, triangular, reticulated organs near the hips, called "salt pouches" (though they are small organs, not pouches)."

Did it merge the systems of the oviducts and salt pouches, or is the production of bacon goo now in the salt pouches?

QUOTE (Coolsteph @ Nov 3 2021, 11:56 PM)

One small clarification: in its ancestor, it's said "The bacon goo is grown from the walls of the enlarged oviduct,". The salt pouches were used as a storage area for the sodium specifically: "The sodium of the bacon goo is sequestered in small, triangular, reticulated organs near the hips, called "salt pouches" (though they are small organs, not pouches)." Did it merge the systems of the oviducts and salt pouches, or is the production of bacon goo now in the salt pouches?

Would this be biologically plausible? If not, how should I edit the description?

I presume the method is biologically plausible, and one kind of skink has a sort of similar method, as do dogfishdogfish, although the latter uses a uterus rather than oviduct. If the oviduct-secretion doesn't seem efficient, it's not out of the question Krotezurucks could improve on that design.

The description would be easy to fix.
Instead of,
"Located within the “salt pouches” near their hips, this substance provides the young a rich source of protein, iron, and especially sodium to aid in their development."
You could say,
"The bacon goo is secreted from the oviducts. It derives its mineral content, especially its sodium, from nearby mineral-storing organs called "salt pouches" (though they are organs, not pouches)."
If necessary to make it seem biologically plausible, you could say: "The use of specialized organs to store necessary minerals for reproduction is somewhat similar to medullary bone in birds."

Approval Checklist:
Art:
Art Present?: Y
Art clear?: Y
Gen number?: Y
All limbs shown?: Y
Reasonably Comparable to Ancestor?: Y
Realistic additions?: Y

Name:
Binomial Taxonomic Name?: Y
Creator?: Y

Ancestor:
Listed?:
What changes?:

• External?: Darker coloration, osteoderms,
• Internal?: Torpor
• Behavioral/Mental?:

Are Changes Realistic?:
New Genus Needed?: (If yes, list why)

Habitat:
Type?: 1/2
Flavor?: 2/3
Connected?: Y
Wildcard?: N/A

Size:
Same as Ancestor?: N
Within range?: Y (75 cm -> 1.5 m)
Exception?: N/A

Support:
Same as Ancestor?: Y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A
Other?: N/A

Diet:
Same as Ancestor?: Y
Transition Rule?: N/A
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A

Respiration:
Same as Ancestor?: Y
Does It Fit Habitat?: Y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A
Other?: N/A

Thermoregulation:
Same as Ancestor?: Y
Does It Fit Habitat?: Y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A
Other?: N/A

Reproduction:
Same as Ancestor?: Y
Does It Fit Habitat?: Y
Reasonable changes (if any)?: N/A
Other?: N/A

Description:
Length?: Good
Capitalized correctly?: Y
Replace/Split from ancestor?: Split
Other?: N/A

Status: Approved